In April of 1998, i ventured into Yahoo and met several P/people. The rooms were huge, the scroll fast. I was lost. A very nice man, _bearly_submissive, told me about an on-line etiquette class.

Sex_GrandMaster was the Mentor and taught me how to enter and leave, the correct way to address O/others, and to serve a beverage in the room. SGM was always polite and respectful to A/all. I don't know if i can say W/we became friends. I came to respect Him immensely and i trusted His judgement.
In July, Yahoo changed their format. The boot monster was constantly present and did not discriminate. The monster booted A/all. Needless to say it was very frustrating. SGM invited A/all to move to "Big Sexy Land." It was there, in a more intimate atmosphere that the R/regulars became a part of my life.

I was "with" Another before my discovery of Yahoo and the transition to BSL. One of the R/regulars was a Domme named, Lady Francesca. Lady Francesca is a lovely Woman, intelligent, humorous and very down-to-earth. Once i came into the room, she was comforting a submissive whose friend had learned of an incurable illness. The tenderness She gave touched me deeply.

In August my heart was broken. I had several choices. I could give up and log-off with the knowledge that i would never be fulfilled or log-on and continue my self-discovery.

I clearly remember the night. I was afraid to log-on; my name would revert back to _annie. The feeling of a loss of what could have been was overwhelming. Hit go or log-off? I had come to be apart of a "F/family" and i didn't want to let that go. Everyone in chat has witnessed a "breakup." It is awful and when it happens to you it is devastating. I took a deep breath and hit go.

I had not been in a chat room without my Master's name joined with my own. When i entered the room and greeted A/all there, the conversation in progress continued. I watched silently. After a couple of minutes, Lady Francesca said to me, "are you O/our annie?" It was at that moment that i knew i loved Her. She asked what happened, my only reply was "real life, Lady Francesca." I knew everything would be okay; i was "home."

Months went by, i had my potential Master list. I was constantly adding and scratching off the Names. I would confide my doubts and ask Lady Francesca or SGM for Their advice. I would read and learn about submission. I did not cyber with Those on the list. I knew submission is a treasured gift. I knew the value of my rare jewel.

I knew Lady Francesca was married. She often spoke of love and respect for Her Husband. When i started my relationship with my former Master, i had only sought on-line, as did my Master. I did not know how intense my feelings of submission would become. I changed, my desires changed, i knew i needed a real life Master.

In December, i was talking with SGM. It was then that i discovered He was married. He told me of His marriage. He was married to a Domme. He told me of what They sought: a relationship of "sharing." Their "sharing" was for each to have Their own submissive to love and cherish. I didn't know who His Wife was, it was personal and intimate information and that was not O/our relationship.

I am not sure exactly what happened or when it happened. I started looking at SGM differently, feeling different when i was with Him. In January, i had a conversation with Lady Francesca, i told her that i wanted a Master i could grow with, i asked Her if She thought SGM could be that Master. She said yes. I then asked Her if He was Her husband, She answered yes. They would never lie to A/anyone about Their relationship and only a few had ever asked.

It gave me lots to think about. I didn't know how SGM felt about me. I had loved Lady Francesca for months now, and my feelings for SGM were growing. I have my life and a 24/7 relationship is not feasible for me. I have been married before and i know without a shadow of a doubt that i am not fulfilled in that type of setting. They had both nurtured me from the moment i logged-on. The idea of belonging to Them was a very natural progression. I just didn't know how SGM felt about me.

SGM had asked me to serve Him coffee on several occasions. I still remember Him explaining to me in the class the 3 types of serves, vanilla, friendly, and erotic. My serves to Him were increasing to the erotic side, and there were a few intimate conversations.

I trusted Them explicitly. I was afraid, not of Him, but of myself. Could i please Him? My baggage from my past was holding me back. I could let it control me or toss it overboard. After a lot of soul searching, i threw the bags filled with my past disappointments and unfulfilled expectations overboard. I vowed to myself to open my heart to Him, without expectations, letting fate decide where my place in Their lives would be.

On February 20, 1999, i asked SGM if He would allow me to express a token of my affection and honor for Him. He said yes. I sent Him and others in the room a wav file. I danced for Him. (The music and the dance can be found in the writings section.)

It was a magical night. SGM asked me to go into a private room with Him and W/we talked until the sun came up. He had feelings for me too. He asked me if i wanted to be His. If i wanted to be His submissive. His possession. I couldn't answer. There was Another i had been talking with, i didn't feel right about submitting to SGM when i knew the Other had hopes. The next day i told the Other of my decision, i wish i could say W/we are still friends, but W/we are not. He didn't value my friendship.

SGM asked me again if i wanted to be His. I said YES!!! The months were filled with discovery. Saying i love You and hearing it back. SGM telling me He cherished me and treasured the gift of my submission. I showed my love and devotion. In May W/we met.

Lady Francesca and SGM and i met in Merced, CA, along with several O/others from the Hall. (The Hall opened in November of 1998, it is owned and supported by the Dom/mes and geared toward those seeking real life relationships.)

I had my safe calls in place, even though this was a group meeting. Never should a meeting take place without safe calls. Meeting my Master and Mistress was exceptional. The weekend was more than i had in my wildest dreams hoped for it to be. As the weekend drew to a close, SGM asked me if i would wear His collar. The ceremony would take place in Las Vegas at the next group meeting.

The days dragged by, but finally July came and off to Vegas i went. On, July 24th, SGM locked His collar around my neck. The bonds of submission were already around my heart. I have never been happier or more fulfilled.

My Mistress is wonderful and supportive. My Master completes me and fulfills my needs. All relationships have rough spots but W/we are committed to each O/other. It is not easy being so many miles apart. Communicating with each O/other keeps O/our relationship strong. W/we have the same goal: a long-term loving relationship for all of U/us. It is beyond what i can express to be apart of the U/us. U/us being SGM, Lady Francesca and me and someday a special male submissive.

You could give me wings to fly
Or catch me when i fall
Or pull the stars down from the sky
So i could wish upon them all
i couldn't ask for more
Because Your love is the greatest gift of all

Jim Brickman