words and sensitivity to those words 1-11-2003 sex_grandmaster-d {enters} shel_ml {enters} sire_of_naughty_ham_d {enters} snhs_tender.morsel {enters} clytemnestra {enters} francescas_dragonwarrior {enters} -scarlet- {enters} francescas_dragonwarrior {enters} francescas_dragonwarrior {enters} -scarlet- enters quietly walking over and taking a seat snhs_tender.morsel follows Sire in and settles in a chair beside Him francescas_dragonwarrior drops from cyberspace into a chair in the middle of the room shel_ml sits down in the middle of the room on the floor and giggles nervously...this is her first class clytemnestra sits quietly at the back snhs_tender.morsel you will be fine shel -scarlet- looks back at clyte, pulling his chair up, no corners here either shel_ml thanx morsel :) francescas_dragonwarrior you'll be fine shel shel_ml you too dw :) sex_grandmaster-d alright today's subject is names snhs_tender.morsel do you know the rules for class shel? snhs_tender.morsel oops hushes shel_ml no i don't morsel francescas_dragonwarrior listens clytemnestra looks askance at scarlet, and then grins sex_grandmaster-d ahhhhh good point morsel *S* since you brought it up why don't you go over the rules real quickly sex_grandmaster-d smiles snhs_tender.morsel yes Sensei francescas_dragonwarrior smiles to morsel snhs_tender.morsel don't ask to enter or leave if you need to do so just do so quietly snhs_tender.morsel raise your hand to ask a question and wait to be called on snhs_tender.morsel icq or other messaging programs off or on away snhs_tender.morsel no pm's in class one if need be to your M/M to let Them know you are in class and cannot talk snhs_tender.morsel the Teacher is always addressed as Sensei snhs_tender.morsel looks at the list snhs_tender.morsel is that all Sensei i feel like i am missing something sex_grandmaster-d no that's it morsel excellent job thanks *S* snhs_tender.morsel Your welcome Sensei sex_grandmaster-d ahh wait there is one more *S* not greetings when S/someone enters the classroom during class sire_of_naughty_ham_d pats your head good girl snhs_tender.morsel oops yes Sensei sex_grandmaster-d that includes Dom/mes snhs_tender.morsel . o O ( thought i was missing one ) sex_grandmaster-d today's topic is names and came about from a couple of responses I saw in the Hall last week prior to class francescas_dragonwarrior listens sire_of_naughty_ham_d listens sex_grandmaster-d this class also deals with words and sensitivity to those words sex_grandmaster-d smiles sex_grandmaster-d for example do any of these words bother you? sex_grandmaster-d cunt, whore, slut, bitch snhs_tender.morsel nods a lot -scarlet- raises my hand sire_of_naughty_ham_d agrees sex_grandmaster-d pussy, ass, twat, coochie, snatch, prick, cock, dick? sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? snhs_tender.morsel blushes sex_grandmaster-d smiles -scarlet- it would depend Sensei, on who was saying them, and the way they were meant when said shel_ml nods sex_grandmaster-d very good scarlet *S* francescas_dragonwarrior nods in agreement with scarlet sex_grandmaster-d now in this lifestyle it is generally accepted that these words don't have the same connotations that they do in the vanilla worlds snhs_tender.morsel listens francescas_dragonwarrior nods and smiles sex_grandmaster-d however the question is what can you be called by your M/M? sex_grandmaster-d looks at the class francescas_dragonwarrior raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d dw? francescas_dragonwarrior whatever Y/you are both comfortable with Sensei sex_grandmaster-d not actually dw *S* sex_grandmaster-d technically They can call you anything they want to sex_grandmaster-d what Y/you have to realize is that these words take on a different meaning when used by your M/M sex_grandmaster-d in BDSM slut is not a bad word sex_grandmaster-d if your M/M calls you Their little slut it a loving term of endearment francescas_dragonwarrior smiles -scarlet- smiles and nods snhs_tender.morsel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d or Their nasty whore, dirty little bitch etc. sex_grandmaster-d yes morsel? snhs_tender.morsel i can see the difference in that Sensei Sire once called me a sultry bitch one night in bed way before the relationship ever went to D/s and i kicked Him right out of the bed He could say that now and i would like it sire_of_naughty_ham_d nods :-) sex_grandmaster-d chuckles francescas_dragonwarrior chuckles then smiles to morsel sex_grandmaster-d exactly morsel because it is a compliment a term of endearment shel_ml chuckles sex_grandmaster-d not only a term of endearment but a pet name one that shows Pride in what They have brought you to snhs_tender.morsel it was then too Sensei i just couldn't see it that way then sex_grandmaster-d nods to morsel shel_ml nods in agreement and understanding sex_grandmaster-d of course it was *S* the point is that the understanding of how these words are used and how they show the Pride and pleasure that your Dom/me is deriving from you snhs_tender.morsel nods and smiles shel_ml smiles and nods francescas_dragonwarrior nods and smiles sex_grandmaster-d most words and names can be relished here in this lifestyle because they mean something entirely different the way We use them francescas_dragonwarrior raises my hand sire_of_naughty_ham_d nods/listens sex_grandmaster-d think of the word cunt, feel it flow out of your mouth *S* it's actually a very arousing and beautiful word when used to describe the female vagina sex_grandmaster-d yes dw? shel_ml nods enthusiastically francescas_dragonwarrior if for any reason we are uncomfortable with a term used Sensei, we are to let the M/M know that..if only to try and figure why...correct Sensei? sex_grandmaster-d some of these names and words are actually downright delicious used during the proper moments *S* snhs_tender.morsel raises her hand shel_ml raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d well if a name bothers you and it isn't apparent that the Dom/me is using it lovingly or as a term meant to stimulate arousal then I think it's appropriate to let Them know you aren't quite sure of it's use *S* sex_grandmaster-d morsel? francescas_dragonwarrior nods snhs_tender.morsel if that word were used to describe that part of my anatomy i would be fine with it Sensei but if i myself were called that i would be very upset because there is so much more to me than just that piece of me sex_grandmaster-d and you think SNH would not be thinking of all of you and your worth and treasures if He was to call you His sweet cunt? sex_grandmaster-d smiles sire_of_naughty_ham_d listens sex_grandmaster-d the center of woman, the embodiment of procreation, the essence of life as it were? sex_grandmaster-d now don't take it wrong I'm not advocating only calling you that *S* I'm saying at certain moments in time when it describes the feelings that are present sex_grandmaster-d yes shel? shel_ml just a point Sensei, our Dom/mes know the proper times and circumstances to use those words appropriately. and after seeing the vagina monologues, i have a new appreciation for these types of words, especially in this environment...me with my Mistress in a loving situation using these terms of endearment. and the issue of trusting Her to BE loving. sex_grandmaster-d nods and smiles to shel shel_ml these two issues are intertwined in my opinion, Sensei snhs_tender.morsel listens sex_grandmaster-d of course they are shel, I don't think a Dom/me is going to stand up from the table at a family wedding and say in a loud voice "come on nasty cunt W/we need to leave" shel_ml ROFLMAO francescas_dragonwarrior laughs and would love to see the guests faces shel_ml . o O ( me too! LOL ) sindra {enters} sindra slips in quietly and takes a seat shel_ml still giggling sex_grandmaster-d W/we are obviously talking about appropriate times, when Y/you are together or perhaps in the company of O/others in the lifestyle that would understand the love and pride that that word was used with francescas_dragonwarrior nods and smiles shel_ml nods sex_grandmaster-d for example if I am at a BDSM function and I hear a Dom/me call their sub a slut or bitch the thought that comes to My mind is they are proud of Their slut or bitch, not just a bitch or slut francescas_dragonwarrior nods sex_grandmaster-d it is My slut, My nasty bitch, My little whore shel_ml smiles sex_grandmaster-d you see the pride of ownership and training in those terms snhs_tender.morsel listens sex_grandmaster-d it doesn't mean you are everyone's slut or bitch, or that everyone has the use of your cunt or snatch -scarlet- nods n nods sex_grandmaster-d or for the male subs your cock or prick *S* francescas_dragonwarrior nods clytemnestra nods -scarlet- raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d you aren't every female's slut you are Owned sex_grandmaster-d yes scarlet? -scarlet- knows my Master would take great offense, also, if i was called a bitch or slut, or something else, but someone (and i left the caps off intentionally) who doesn't have the right -scarlet- but=by, Sensei sex_grandmaster-d absolutely scarlet it's the right of your Dom/me not O/others sex_grandmaster-d there are exceptions of course *S* I was one asked by a Dom if I thought He had a lovely well trained slut *S* sex_grandmaster-d My reply was yes Your slut is well trained and very lovely sex_grandmaster-d in that case I was acknowledging His pride in His property, however I would not say to her come here slut francescas_dragonwarrior nods sex_grandmaster-d why wouldn't I do that? -scarlet- raises my hand francescas_dragonwarrior raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? -scarlet- because, Sensei, that would show great disrespect to the Dom/me, and His/Her sub sex_grandmaster-d true but there is a more basic reason ISI sex_grandmaster-d dw? snhs_tender.morsel raises her hand sindra raises my hand francescas_dragonwarrior i agree with scarlet Sensei and it would be degrading B/both..also she is not Your slut and You don't have the right to call her that clytemnestra nods/agrees shel_ml nods sex_grandmaster-d the last part is what I was looking for dw, she doesn't belong to Me, I have no right to call her slut sex_grandmaster-d morsel? snhs_tender.morsel she is not Yours to call slut Sensei and since she is not Yours You couldn't mean it in that loving endearment way sex_grandmaster-d very good morsel *S* sex_grandmaster-d sindra? sindra it has already been said Sensei, thank You sex_grandmaster-d smiles to sindra -scarlet- raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? -scarlet- Sensei, would this differ if the sub was not owned by Someone, and was a "free agent"? clytemnestra listens sex_grandmaster-d Not in My book scarlet, with the exception of the sub having given certain Dom/mes to call them that *S* shel_ml raises her hand -scarlet- nods sindra raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d I would think however that there would be some level of intimacy involved before that would happen sex_grandmaster-d yes shel? shel_ml Sensei, the whole point here is these names IN CONTEXT...if you are not owned as a sub, then how could that happen unless it was Someone you were close with? it's not about authority, it's about appreciation, pride and affection, right Sensei? sex_grandmaster-d exactly *S* I believe there has to be some level of intimacy before those terms are used on a personal level sex_grandmaster-d sindra? sindra just a statement, personal feelings Sensei......it bothers me when i am called that, i personally find it somehow very insulting if i don't know them or am not interested or with them......in fact it down right fires up my engine to the point i let them know.....a stranger knows nothing about that sultry side of a sub/slave there fore has no rights to assume same of anyone submissive/slave...what one is for their M sex_grandmaster-d correct sindra *S* francescas_dragonwarrior nods to sindra sindra . o O ( (wishes she would have used cut and past for that for it hardly makes sense) ) clytemnestra . o O ( understands it, though ) sindra smiles shel_ml . o O ( me too ) sex_grandmaster-d so the point is to understand the meaning of these words and how they are used in the D/s relationship francescas_dragonwarrior . o O ( with love, affection and pride ) shel_ml nods in agreement sex_grandmaster-d many times they are used to heighten the arousal and mood of the moment or scene francescas_dragonwarrior nods -scarlet- smiles and nods shel_ml . o O ( mmmmm yesssss ) sex_grandmaster-d many times just as a loving pet name shel_ml nods sex_grandmaster-d however would I stand across a crowded room and shout to annie "get your nasty cunt over here bitch"? francescas_dragonwarrior doesn't think so shel_ml laughs and shakes her head in negation sindra chuckles softly knowing many would come running.....winks....don't think You would Sensei snhs_tender.morsel would freak out of Sire said that to me at all sex_grandmaster-d I might if it were a part of a scene W/we were playing *S* and most certainly I would say something on those lines close up or in private shel_ml smiles and dreams for a moment francescas_dragonwarrior nods and smiles sindra . o O ( sees a side of SGM she never thought existed... ) sex_grandmaster-d but normally I would call her by name, mostly for the reason sindra mentioned sex_grandmaster-d chuckles and winks -scarlet- nods .........a time and place for everything ... clytemnestra . o O ( can only imagine ) sex_grandmaster-d these names and words used in this context are meant to be shared by T/two sindra softly nods francescas_dragonwarrior nods sex_grandmaster-d or 3 or however many are involved intimately at the time *S* sex_grandmaster-d chuckles snhs_tender.morsel nods quietly shel_ml giggles francescas_dragonwarrior chuckles sex_grandmaster-d now do subs or slaves refer to themselves as sluts, whores, bitches etc. etc.? shel_ml raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d is it appropriate? sex_grandmaster-d shel? sindra raises my hand francescas_dragonwarrior raises my hand snhs_tender.morsel listens shel_ml Sensei, i would think it would depend on the relationship with his or her Dom/me and also the context. for instance, if one's Dom/me regularly referred to one that way, then it would be appropriate. especially if one is Gorian trained. otherwise it could also be something that the two in the relationship would discuss, Sensei sex_grandmaster-d very good shel *S* sex_grandmaster-d sindra? sindra in the context of privacy as Your slut, the same reversed as Master would address His.....or in arousal of the Master.....to entice and lust after Him so that He could see her desires to be His pleasure.... shel_ml smiles her thanks francescas_dragonwarrior lowers my hand sex_grandmaster-d excellent sindra *S* sindra smiles sex_grandmaster-d what about in public for instance at a play party? sindra raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d sindra? shel_ml giggles because she is an exhibitionist sindra only if the Master and sub/slave were accustomed to such talk and it was agreed upon earlier....but i do believe that only in whispers to each other or in the privacy of close friends Sensei -scarlet- raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? shel_ml raises her hand -scarlet- i think, Sensei, it can be used between subs ... but even in this instance it is said with affection -scarlet- as an example, Sensei: -scarlet- i recently wrote a story, and after a friend read it, she came back to me and said something to the effect ... scarlet, you slut! i didn't take offense at this at all, as it was said with affection (or jealousy, perhaps???) sindra lol.....winks at scarlet affectionately -scarlet- winks back at sin sex_grandmaster-d yes it could be used between subs in that context sex_grandmaster-d shel? shel_ml Sensei, i know that Mistress is proud of me, She tells me so all the time. as sindra said, it would be along those lines of reversing and pleasing your M/M with what you said earlier implying that M/M's use these terms in public. also, personally i would use it as the brag factor cuz i am that vain Sensei :) sex_grandmaster-d smiles and nods -scarlet- smiles at shel, nodding sex_grandmaster-d so yes it can be used by the sub and is appropriate unless the Dom/me has restricted it for some reason shel_ml can't wait to share her new understanding with her Mistress sindra raises my hand....Sensei some Masters/Mistress love to hear Theirs refer to them selves when asked the question, What are you.......they desire to hear that You are their nasty slut, whore of cunt...it is arousal and some do enjoy it in the presence of others to show that Their sub/slave knows that they are to Them personally, its not meant as a form of disrespect to the sub/slave but as a term or loving admiration ..... sometime also a form of humiliation having to admit to others what one is to their Master/Mistress.... sindra oops sex_grandmaster-d and quite frankly I don't know of any Dom/me that isn't going to swell up with pride when Their sub/slave refers to themselves as You slut or whatever term of endearment is used *S* shel_ml giggles sindra apologizes to Sensei, forgot to hit the return before i wrote that essay sex_grandmaster-d chuckles and nods to sindra francescas_dragonwarrior nods and smiles clytemnestra smiles sex_grandmaster-d alright are there any questions or comments? snhs_tender.morsel shakes her head no francescas_dragonwarrior no Sensei -scarlet- no, Sensei clytemnestra no, Sensei shel_ml shakes her head no sindra no Sensei..Thank You sex_grandmaster-d I hope this class helps put these names and words into perspective and how they can be beautiful and arousing if not completely delicious to use in the proper context sex_grandmaster-d class is dismissed