Needs vs. Wants 1-20-01 Sex_GrandMaster {enters} SGMs_annie {enters} SNHs_tender.morsel {enters} SGMs_annie hi keri and sapphire *s* letitia_MP {enters} GEs_sapphire *smiling*....hello SGM Sir koraG {enters} SirProfiless {enters} Francescas_dragonwarrior {enters} GEs_sapphire *smiles to all* SGMs_annie enters and slides into a seat letitia_MP hello SGM Sir may i enter please SNHs_tender.morsel finds a seat by keri keri2000 hello SGM Sir SirProfiless sits at the back quietly Sex_GrandMaster {enters} letitia_MP stretches yawns again, wipes the sleep from her eyes Francescas_dragonwarrior takes a seat Sex_GrandMaster well that sucked koraG sits quietly letitia_MP wb SGM koraG wb SGM Sir SGMs_annie wb Master Francescas_dragonwarrior w/b Master GEs_sapphire *giggles at SGM Sir* SirProfiless wb SGM letitia_MP sits next to dw Sex_GrandMaster strolls to the front of the class keri2000 watches and listens letitia_MP watches Francescas_dragonwarrior gets out my notepad letitia_MP smiles at dw..save me taking notes bro..grins koraG peeks over his shoulder... hehe Sex_GrandMaster looks around at the class letitia_MP yawns again keri2000 takes tm hand Sex_GrandMaster keri is this your first time at class? letitia_MP looks @ kora SNHs_tender.morsel smiles and takes yours back keri2000 SGM Sir yes GEs_sapphire *smiles to keri* letitia_MP . o O ( up at 7am on a Sunday is that dedication..or what..lol ) Sex_GrandMaster annie will you go over the rules of class then *S* SGMs_annie yes Master letitia_MP shusshes and sits quietly SGMs_annie the Teacher is addressed as Sensei unless it is you Dom/me leading the class SGMs_annie no pm's inside or outside of class, icq on away SGMs_annie raise you hand to make comments or ask questions SGMs_annie no need to ask permission for entrance or exist...just leave...no wb's or hello's SGMs_annie i think that is it Master Sex_GrandMaster nods Sex_GrandMaster no greetings to Dom/mes, and you are allowed one PM to your Master if need be to let them know you are in class and restricted from sending PMs Sex_GrandMaster any questions? letitia_MP no Sensei SNHs_tender.morsel none here Sensei Sex_GrandMaster Today's subject is needs versus wants GEs_sapphire listening closely Francescas_dragonwarrior listens letitia_MP listens attentively koraG listens SirProfiless listens Sex_GrandMaster your M/M is responsible to provide fulfillment of your needs GEs_sapphire {enters} GEs_sapphire {enters} Sex_GrandMaster however your wants are up to the discretion of the M/M GEs_sapphire {enters} Sex_GrandMaster having problems sapphire? GEs_sapphire SGM....yes Sir....sorry Sir Sex_GrandMaster that's ok *S* it happens GEs_sapphire *smiles warmly and takes a seat* Sex_GrandMaster now do you determine a need from a want? Sex_GrandMaster how rather? Sex_GrandMaster looks Francescas_dragonwarrior has absolutely no idea Sex_GrandMaster looks around the class GEs_sapphire *raises hand* Sex_GrandMaster any idea's? Sex_GrandMaster sapphire? letitia_MP has no idea keri2000 Sensei no idea GEs_sapphire a need is something we cant live without?....a want is something we can take or leave....at will..... Sex_GrandMaster Hmmmmmmm maybe Sex_GrandMaster smiles keri2000 raises hand Sex_GrandMaster I think M/most can live without everything except water and food if you had to Sex_GrandMaster keri? GEs_sapphire *shakes her head no....giggling* letitia_MP needs love keri2000 was jus t going to ask if a need was like food water air etc Sex_GrandMaster smiles Sex_GrandMaster yes those are all definite needs but basic to life Sex_GrandMaster let's narrow it a bit, to needs in the D/s relationship letitia_MP raises hand Sex_GrandMaster letitia? keri2000 listens intently GEs_sapphire *raises hand letitia_MP Sensei...mutual respect, trust, are needs in D/s Sex_GrandMaster nods letitia_MP and consensual Sex_GrandMaster sapphire? GEs_sapphire a need in that sense....well....we have physical needs...and emotional needs.... letitia_MP -r SirProfiless raises hand Sex_GrandMaster nods Sex_GrandMaster Profileless? SirProfiless Sensei I believe that it is the responsibility of the Dom/me to give to the sub the needs that are desired SirProfiless but also the flip side of the coin applies SirProfiless it is a very careful balance Sex_GrandMaster nods Sex_GrandMaster I am assuming of course that the M/M will take Their needs as They see fit Sex_GrandMaster smiles GEs_sapphire *raises hand* Sex_GrandMaster ok here is an assignment to do during class, which W/we will cover at the end SNHs_tender.morsel . o O ( uh oh ) Sex_GrandMaster take a sheet of paper and make 2 columns Francescas_dragonwarrior tires to stay awake Sex_GrandMaster at the top of one column write needs letitia_MP prods dw Sex_GrandMaster at the top of the other column write wants koraG listens keri2000 done GEs_sapphire jotting down wants vs. needs in her notebook Sex_GrandMaster as something comes to mind that you Sex_GrandMaster as something comes to mind that you desire from D/s put it in one of the columns keri2000 understands Sex_GrandMaster now needs can be actions such as spanking, control, learning to be more submissive keri2000 nods Sex_GrandMaster wants can also be actions or things that you haven't experienced as of yet keri2000 nods Sex_GrandMaster however in the D/s lifestyle there are certain things that fulfill you as a submissive or as a Dom/me keri2000 listens Sex_GrandMaster the things that you crave that brought you to the lifestyle to begin with Sex_GrandMaster the things that make you feel more complete as a P/person Sex_GrandMaster control is one of those, giving it for the sub and having it for the Dom/me Sex_GrandMaster level of control is the need Sex_GrandMaster an example of a want might be wax play or fisting if you have not experienced it Sex_GrandMaster smiles to the class letitia_MP smiles at Sensei GEs_sapphire looking at my needs column....growing...and growing.....and my want column....blank....hehe keri2000 thinking wanting thoughts Sex_GrandMaster now for some .... bondage might be a need and others a want Sex_GrandMaster so how do We determine which is which? keri2000 raises hand Francescas_dragonwarrior {leaves} GEs_sapphire *raises hand* Sex_GrandMaster first off if you have never experienced it, it has to go in the wants column Sex_GrandMaster keri? keri2000 if it has happened it is no longer a want but if not and you crave it is a need right Sex_GrandMaster nods to keri Sex_GrandMaster sapphire? GEs_sapphire if it brings you fulfillment in your relationship....as a submissive or Dom/Domme.....it is a need keri2000 thanks Sensei SNHs_tender.morsel tosses her paper in the air in absolute bewilderment Sex_GrandMaster ok both very good comments GEs_sapphire giggles at morsel Sex_GrandMaster you have a question morsel? letitia_MP . o O ( your tree morsel would be a need lol ) Sex_GrandMaster smiles SNHs_tender.morsel no Sensei i just can not find the distinguishing line between many wants/needs Sex_GrandMaster that is not unusual morsel and that is why I will cover that at the end *S* keri2000 squeezes tm's hand SNHs_tender.morsel paper is still blank sigh Sex_GrandMaster now let's define a need as something that provides you with the focus and feeling of fulfillment and accomplishment as a sub Sex_GrandMaster for instance kneeling for your M/M Sex_GrandMaster serving your M/M Sex_GrandMaster servicing your M/M for Their pleasure Sex_GrandMaster receiving a spanking as a reward for your service keri2000 writing Sex_GrandMaster having a favorite scene done to you keri2000 starting to get it Sex_GrandMaster any others? Sex_GrandMaster I am talking from your point of view as a sub now, what you crave GEs_sapphire *raises hand* letitia_MP raises her hand Sex_GrandMaster the things that make you feel satisfied Sex_GrandMaster sapphire? GEs_sapphire rewarded by receiving Mistresses attention, love, control....the feeling of being owned....receiving stimulation.... Sex_GrandMaster ok but in what manner? what specific actions do you crave? Sex_GrandMaster letitia? letitia_MP just being with Mistress...knowing i am hers, Sex_GrandMaster nods GEs_sapphire a caress.....a tug of my hair....being given a command.....having to ask permission....being "taken"...thereby being desired.... letitia_MP that she can bring me to my knees with a look, a touch, agrees with sapphire Sex_GrandMaster ok sapphire an example would be being led around on a leash GEs_sapphire *nods.....agreeing* Sex_GrandMaster having your hair pulled SNHs_tender.morsel raises her hand Sex_GrandMaster morsel? SNHs_tender.morsel Sensei i can relate strongly to all the things being said right now but i still can't define whether they are wants or needs Sex_GrandMaster getting spankings on a regular basis is a need for some GEs_sapphire *agrees wholeheartedly with Sensei* Sex_GrandMaster you will get help with that part later morsel, for now just try to put a level of desire for each one and call it a need or want Sex_GrandMaster those with a lower level place in the want column, they can all be moved and will be moved later keri2000 starts new page Sex_GrandMaster now wants are the things that you either haven't experienced or desire on an occasional basis an_exquisite_delight {enters} an_exquisite_delight sits down all quiet like keri2000 focuses total attention Sex_GrandMaster if you haven't experienced it, then it is a definite want Sex_GrandMaster because you are interested in it but you don't know to what extent yet keri2000 raises his hand Sex_GrandMaster yes keri? keri2000 understands what you are saying...how do i convey these wants to MsLisa GEs_sapphire *raises hand* Sex_GrandMaster smiles Sex_GrandMaster that is what I am coming to next keri Sex_GrandMaster sapphire? keri2000 yes Sensei an_exquisite_delight slips quietly on out GEs_sapphire my Mistress and i....for various reasons....have had difficulty finding "time" for us to scene....for months....as keri said....how do i convey these wants to Ma'am....when Ma'am is already aware of my needs... an_exquisite_delight {leaves} Sex_GrandMaster good question *S* have Y/you indeed sat down and discussed your needs and wants? GEs_sapphire yes Sensei.....and also the reasons....for them being neglected..... Sex_GrandMaster made a list and gone over the priorities on it? GEs_sapphire no Sensei keri2000 no confused on how to do it (not meaning to step on sapphire) Sex_GrandMaster ok let's cover getting the list in order and what you do with it GEs_sapphire listening attentively letitia_MP listens keri2000 listening Sex_GrandMaster In the first place you are aware that no matter how long the Dom/me has been in the lifestyle or how "good" of a Dom/me they are They aren't a mind reader keri2000 ok koraG nods Sex_GrandMaster We must have feedback from you to know where you are at, We know where We are at and where We want to go Sex_GrandMaster We know where We want to take you keri2000 raises hand Sex_GrandMaster but it is your responsibility to keep your M/M informed of where you are Sex_GrandMaster yes keri? keri2000 Sensei...should that go both ways Sex_GrandMaster yes communication is the key here, your M/M is also responsible for discussing where They want to take you as well keri2000 that is why You are Sensei answered before i asked LOL Sex_GrandMaster that is of course the purpose of the limits list Sex_GrandMaster when the limits are pushed they should be discussed first Sex_GrandMaster smiles Sex_GrandMaster so how do you arrange your list? letitia_MP listens keri2000 listens Sex_GrandMaster on the side that has needs, the first one should be the thing that you desire the most Sex_GrandMaster kneeling, spanking etc. keri2000 done Sex_GrandMaster the action that fulfills you the most as a sub Sex_GrandMaster then place a priority on each action in that column in relationship to that action Sex_GrandMaster and place them down the list in that order Sex_GrandMaster some you may decide to move over to the wants side now Sex_GrandMaster needs are something that you crave on a regular or daily basis SirProfiless {leaves} keri2000 thinks this one needs about an hour to do this but it shall be done Sex_GrandMaster assuming of course that the basics such as love an affection are givens and not put on the list GEs_sapphire erases...... keri2000 raises hand Sex_GrandMaster it may take longer keri *S* these are important decisions Sex_GrandMaster you need to think of each one and assign a priority to it, then move it around on the list to where it fits Sex_GrandMaster yes keri? keri2000 MsLisa and i have a different life story than most...Sensei is there a way to discuss this privately with you Sex_GrandMaster sure after class I am usually available keri *S* keri2000 thank you Sensei Sex_GrandMaster now what do you do with the list? GEs_sapphire *listening closely* Sex_GrandMaster this is also an assignment of the class work keri2000 listens Sex_GrandMaster after you think you have the list in order, you take it to your M/M, tell them that it is part of your assignment to discuss the items on the list and have them help you refine the positions of priority keri2000 boom SirProfiless {enters} keri2000 but will do Sex_GrandMaster you will then discuss the ways in which they can be fulfilled Sex_GrandMaster don't be surprised if your M/M has you move items to different areas, but this should be agreed between the T/two of you that it belongs there Sex_GrandMaster I also suggest that you keep this list handy and add or subtract to it as time goes on, when there are significant changes you are to discuss it with your M/M keri2000 raises hand GEs_sapphire *writing furiously* Sex_GrandMaster in this way you can fulfill your responsibility to your M/M of keeping them informed as to your current status Sex_GrandMaster keri? keri2000 could this be like a contract Sex_GrandMaster no because the list is going to change as time and experience goes on keri keri2000 ok Sensei Sex_GrandMaster things will move up and down the list or swap sides keri2000 understand Sex_GrandMaster that is why you keep the list and update it *S* GEs_sapphire *smiling*.... Sex_GrandMaster but your M/M should be willing to listen and discuss this list at all times with you keri2000 has learned so much today knows he will be back Sex_GrandMaster now each of you look at your list keri2000 looking letitia_MP looks SGMs_annie looks too Sex_GrandMaster I will call on you one at a time and I want you to list the first 3 things in each column Sex_GrandMaster sapphire? koraG {leaves} GEs_sapphire assuming love and attention are givens.......to be desired......spanking....paddling...flogging.....all on the same priority....and third.....stimulation Sex_GrandMaster this is the needs column? GEs_sapphire yes Sensei Sex_GrandMaster ok and the wants column? GEs_sapphire blindfolds.....bondage....attending local functions.... Sex_GrandMaster nods Sex_GrandMaster ok keri? keri2000 needs first Sex_GrandMaster yes *S* keri2000 controlled totally...spanked...cross dressing W/we Do all keri2000 wants Sex_GrandMaster nods keri2000 want to be watched as a sub...wants MsLisa to share me with another Dom/Dommes...wants to meet others in this lifestyle Sex_GrandMaster nods Sex_GrandMaster letitia? keri2000 and typing sucks lol Sex_GrandMaster not to worry keri Mine does too *G* letitia_MP bondage, spanking, nipple clamps. letitia_MP and wants letitia_MP to be controlled, Sex_GrandMaster just one under wants letitia? letitia_MP at present Sensei Sex_GrandMaster nods Sex_GrandMaster annie your turn SGMs_annie Needs 1. being with You r/l 2. obeying, serving pleasing You 3. to be controlled Wants: 1. date night 2. water sports 3. wax Sex_GrandMaster and now morsel your turn Sex_GrandMaster smiles keri2000 thinks annie must be where i am trying to go SGMs_annie smiles at keri keri2000 with MsLisa SNHs_tender.morsel am i froze? Sex_GrandMaster I see you morsel, it's your turn Sex_GrandMaster first 3 in the needs column Sex_GrandMaster morsel? keri2000 thought i was booted Sex_GrandMaster ok while W/we are waiting are there any questions? keri2000 yes GEs_sapphire *raises hand* SNHs_tender.morsel {leaves} Sex_GrandMaster keri? keri2000 would like to chat one on one Sensei have teenagers and must go can i give you my icq letitia_MP listens Sex_GrandMaster sapphire? GEs_sapphire as i said earlier....finding time for us to scene...has been a problem....one which causes me to feel undesired....after speaking with Ma'am....and the reasons....i still feel that if it was important...we could "make" time....am i being unreasonable...or simply normal doubts.... MaamDeath {enters} MaamDeath hey ...what's happening here.. keri2000 got it will be in touch soon Sensei have to go it's been real thank you Sir MaamDeath hi SGM Sir GEs_sapphire i need to get to work now Sensei....but i really do have an important question....perhaps next time....*smiles sadly* Sex_GrandMaster your welcome keri and be well Sex_GrandMaster or later when you are on sapphire *S* keri2000 thanks *poof* GEs_sapphire thank You....i got so much out of this class today.... Sex_GrandMaster Class Death MaamDeath hallo sapphire and keri and annie and letitia and SirProfiless MaamDeath which one...you are the only ones here...* Sex_GrandMaster your welcome sapphire and be well keri2000 {leaves} Sex_GrandMaster the sub class is just finishing Death GEs_sapphire {leaves} MaamDeath are You all going back to the hall ... Sex_GrandMaster ok any more questions or comments? Sex_GrandMaster after class is dismissed Death Sex_GrandMaster smiles letitia_MP No Sensei MaamDeath {leaves} SGMs_annie none Master Sex_GrandMaster ok well I guess morsel got out of listing hers in class LOL SGMs_annie giggles letitia_MP giggles Sex_GrandMaster but I will catch her later *G* SirProfiless {leaves} letitia_MP much prefer to list them in class grins Sex_GrandMaster ok the diminished class is dismissed then