Needs vs. Wants (Part 2) 1-27-01 Sex_GrandMaster Greetings class Sex_GrandMaster smiles vegasvixen hello Sensei *S* SNHs_tender.morsel Greetings Sensei Sex_GrandMaster strolls to the front of the classroom keri2000 hello Sensei winterrose Hello Sensei Sex_GrandMaster in case you haven't noticed the new banner at the top, the classes are now posted on the books keri2000 got it SNHs_tender.morsel oh good i got booted half way through the last one vegasvixen this is great! vegasvixen smiles Sex_GrandMaster you may take a few minutes to look at it if you like SNHs_tender.morsel thank You Sensei vegasvixen raises her hand Sex_GrandMaster yes vixen? vegasvixen Sensei > will W/we repeat the lesson on mindset one day ..i don't see it vegasvixen would like to please keri2000 Sensei clicked on a book way to...as vv says...kewlllllll Sex_GrandMaster I was hoping that the missing lessons could be supplied by someone that had saved it *S* vegasvixen wishes she had logged that one winterrose settles in with notebook keri2000 Sensei this one has notes from last week Sex_GrandMaster ok if any of you have saved classes that aren't on the list there kindly e-mail them to Me SNHs_tender.morsel raises her hand Sex_GrandMaster I think last weeks is up there keri Sex_GrandMaster yes morsel? keri2000 ok Sensei it was my first i have no more SNHs_tender.morsel Sensei i just looked at last weeks i see where You called on me and then mentioned You guess i got out of listing my answers in class lol i really did freeze and get booted Sensei SNHs_tender.morsel . o O ( perfect timing looks fishy lol ) Sex_GrandMaster yes I know morsel, it was a joke LOL Sex_GrandMaster smiles at you SNHs_tender.morsel i knew You were kidding Sensei but it did look fishy lol SNHs_tender.morsel my leaving when i did that is Sex_GrandMaster well not to be concerned morsel because W/we are continuing from last week SNHs_tender.morsel . o O ( oh no ) Sex_GrandMaster chuckles Sex_GrandMaster oh yes! keri2000 grabs notepad and pen SNHs_tender.morsel raises her hand again Sex_GrandMaster morsel? SNHs_tender.morsel Sensei i was getting very frustrated and confused last week and Sire came over to "help" He actually took over the only answers i had He chose and wrote down i don't even have the list SNHs_tender.morsel . o O ( this class don't have detention does it? ) Sex_GrandMaster does He have the list morsel? SNHs_tender.morsel i don't know where it went Sensei i can look briefly Sex_GrandMaster if not you can start a new one, you have had a week to think on it now *S* keri2000 sits closer to vixen vegasvixen smiles@keri SNHs_tender.morsel gave up on it after getting booted last week and not getting anywhere beforehand SNHs_tender.morsel will try Sex_GrandMaster ok your assignment last week was to organize the list in two columns Sex_GrandMaster how many accomplished that? keri2000 I did Sensei Sex_GrandMaster smiles to keri winterrose raises hand for a question Sex_GrandMaster yes rose? winterrose Sensei, i missed last week, could You please tell me about the list Sir? Sex_GrandMaster of course rose, the class was on needs versus wants winterrose thank You Sir Sex_GrandMaster what you are to do is take a sheet of paper and make 2 columns Sex_GrandMaster the first one is headed with the word Needs and the second is headed Wants winterrose understands... nodding Sex_GrandMaster in those columns you write down the things you think you need and want, then move them around in the order of importance Sex_GrandMaster you may take some time now to do that *S* winterrose thank You Sensei Sex_GrandMaster keri did you find your list moving around a lot before being finalized? keri2000 Sensei the list is still moving me thinks it will never stop moving Sex_GrandMaster smiles Sex_GrandMaster vixen were you here for the class last week? keri2000 raises hand vegasvixen no Sensei Sex_GrandMaster yes keri? vegasvixen i will read the log Sex_GrandMaster nods to vixen keri2000 Sensei things on my list came true this week Sex_GrandMaster would you share those with the class jeri? Sex_GrandMaster keri even LOL Sex_GrandMaster first were they in the needs or wants column? keri2000 needs...cross dressing...wants sharing lifestyle...MsLisa received panties from someone for me Sex_GrandMaster ahhhhhhhh very nice keri Sex_GrandMaster smiles keri2000 the bra hurts vegasvixen winks@keri Sex_GrandMaster sort of 2 birds with one stone I see Sex_GrandMaster chuckles keri2000 claps vv hand keri2000 or one bird with two stones Sex_GrandMaster now the second part of the assignment was to discuss the list with your Dom/me winterrose chuckles SNHs_tender.morsel sighs Sex_GrandMaster did you also accomplish that keri? keri2000 Sensei yes did not go as i thought but to different personalities Sex_GrandMaster and did Lisa help you with organizing your list? Sex_GrandMaster help you determine what were true needs and what were wants? keri2000 yes Sensei but my opinions were not really hers but we worked thru it Sex_GrandMaster nods keri2000 typing still sucks and sees vv laughing Sex_GrandMaster that is the purpose of it keri, to make common ground on terms and definitions and for your Dom/me to understand what you feel the needs are needs keri2000 agrees Sex_GrandMaster now let's discuss some of the needs on your lists, has everyone at least made a partial list? keri2000 raises hand Sex_GrandMaster if not do so now please winterrose nods yes Sex_GrandMaster keri SNHs_tender.morsel is trying to Sex_GrandMaster well morsel spanking is one of the needs that should be on your list Sex_GrandMaster smiles SNHs_tender.morsel Sensei i would call it a want keri2000 wanting to be the best sub but this is a new lifestyle and we are r/t how do you make it work it is tough and we are both working at it Sex_GrandMaster no it isn't and I'll explain why later morsel *S* Sex_GrandMaster smiles at keri SNHs_tender.morsel yes Sensei Sex_GrandMaster that is part of "mindset" keri and I think I do need to cover that class again keri2000 Sensei...understand the last class but sometimes discussions lead into arguments Sex_GrandMaster it requires hard work from both of Y/you to accomplish it, let Me ask do Y/you live it 24/7 keri? Sex_GrandMaster or want to live it 24/7? keri2000 yes Sensei keri2000 both Sex_GrandMaster ok who has the last words in the arguments keri? keri2000 well... Sex_GrandMaster listens keri2000 i am aggressive Sex_GrandMaster nods Sex_GrandMaster which is fine to an extent *S* keri2000 i could be a Dom and sometimes want to but in R/T i don't want it do it too much Sex_GrandMaster W/who has the last words? keri2000 ok Sensei i will listen to MsLisa...last words Sex_GrandMaster smiles Sex_GrandMaster actually keri you always have the last 2 words keri2000 k Sex_GrandMaster in your case it is "yes Mistress" vegasvixen smiles keri2000 nods and lmao at myself vegasvixen raises her hand Sex_GrandMaster it boils down to are you submitting your will or aren't you Sex_GrandMaster vixen? keri2000 raises hand vegasvixen as i start to make my list i am finding that under needs i have put broad categories : to be desired , to be pleasing , to have expectations i am strictly required to meet vegasvixen and under wants i have more specific actions such as flogging and wax play ...am i doing it right Sensei ? Sex_GrandMaster ok a little misconception here vixen, the first two are things you earn, and they aren't given to you vegasvixen is confused she thinks Sex_GrandMaster control, told what to wear, instructed how to act or what to do Sex_GrandMaster some on your wants list may be needs vegasvixen these are just things your MM gives to you ...not characteristics or qualities you need in them ? SNHs_tender.morsel is actually writing Sex_GrandMaster things that you need in order for you to feel submissive or to have your submission reinforced vixen Sex_GrandMaster it could be actions from the M/M or activities winterrose unfortunately must leave... begs forgiveness and is gone... will read transcripts later. Sex_GrandMaster be well rose vegasvixen thinks Sex_GrandMaster now back to you a moment keri *S* winterrose {leaves} Sex_GrandMaster it is up to you to decide if you are going to be submissive in all things to Lisa or just on the things you want to submit to Sex_GrandMaster that doesn't mean that you have to like everything or agree with everything keri2000 Sensei when i got into this lifestyle vixen as a sis led me through and i ended up here its amazing what one persons words can do Sex_GrandMaster but if you submit completely ..... then you submit, there should be no arguing and your last words should always be yes Mistress keri2000 and tours have been very Educational vegasvixen is not sure she wants all that responsibility vegasvixen winks Sex_GrandMaster that doesn't mean your weak or a doormat it simply means you are submitting your will, you are choosing to do so vegasvixen merely helped a fellow traveler on a common path keri2000 Sensei trying to submit and really have just need more instruction on how to Sex_GrandMaster Now let's discuss what a need is Sex_GrandMaster smiles keri2000 listens Blackadder {enters} Sex_GrandMaster I understand keri, that is why it requires learning Sex_GrandMaster Greetings Adder have a seat, as usual the subs are not permitted greetings Blackadder Thanks!!!! Blackadder sits down. Sex_GrandMaster a need is something that you have to have in order to help you submit or to make you feel the control Blackadder . o O ( Hope I am not interrupting? ) keri2000 nods Sex_GrandMaster morsel that is why I said that a spanking should be on your needs list Sex_GrandMaster not at all Adder Blackadder Thanks SGM SNHs_tender.morsel listens. Sex_GrandMaster do you see that now morsel? you have said in the past it confirms the feeling of control to you Sex_GrandMaster Sires control over you right? SNHs_tender.morsel is hopeless vegasvixen raises her hand SNHs_tender.morsel yes Sensei more that that is one thing only He can do to me and He can simply because He can Sex_GrandMaster yes vixen SNHs_tender.morsel unless He gives Someone else permission to in which He is still controlling it vegasvixen is this better Sensei ? needs Physical discipline ...floggers, bondage , spanking ...Verbal feedback , Control over sexual pleasure ? keri2000 raises hand Sex_GrandMaster let's discuss those in a minute vixen *S* Sex_GrandMaster keri? keri2000 permission like me getting gifts because MsLisa said it was ok? keri2000 meaning panties Sex_GrandMaster yes that is an example keri, She had the right to tell you that you could not accept them keri2000 thanks Sensei Sex_GrandMaster therefore expressing Her control SNHs_tender.morsel raises her hand Sex_GrandMaster morsel? Blackadder agrees whole-heartedly. SNHs_tender.morsel Sensei i have a very BIG problem distinguishing needs from wants because to me a want is something i can live without can i live without all these things? yes will i be happier with them oh hell yes! SNHs_tender.morsel but they are still things i want and i have a huge problem asking for things i want Sex_GrandMaster ok I see your problem here morsel SNHs_tender.morsel You do Sensei? SNHs_tender.morsel cause i don't vegasvixen is not doing too good either she doesn't think Blackadder But morsel how dos a Dom know with out asking? Sex_GrandMaster you have to think of the needs as things that are going to complete and reinforce your submission, not life sustaining needs like air and water SNHs_tender.morsel . o O ( oh good i'm not alone ) Blackadder True SGM! SNHs_tender.morsel Sensei i put spanking on the wants side only because You said it went there other than that i have 3 there half a page of wants Sex_GrandMaster The fact is that E/everyone of U/us can choose to do without the lifestyle, that is not the issue Sex_GrandMaster ok look at the wants side and think about what would reinforce your submission and move them to the needs side SNHs_tender.morsel i mean on the needs side Sensei Blackadder listens. SNHs_tender.morsel i was so confused and frustrated a minute ago i could have cried Sex_GrandMaster is it a little more clear now morsel? Blackadder crying does not shelf the problem Morsel. Sex_GrandMaster what things on the wants list reinforce your submission? SNHs_tender.morsel maybe a little Sensei i think my feeling of guilt in asking for things is causing part of the problem SNHs_tender.morsel looks at her list Sex_GrandMaster well for class purposes morsel set that aside Sex_GrandMaster now vixen let's look at your list SNHs_tender.morsel use of my leash, personal requirements enforced, routine rituals, to be ravaged, verbal acknowledgement that i am "His" SNHs_tender.morsel things like that Sensei SGMs_annie {enters} Sex_GrandMaster ok move those things to the needs side keri2000 Sensei may i leave Sex_GrandMaster hello annie SNHs_tender.morsel those and more are all on the wants side SGMs_annie smiles and takes a seat Sex_GrandMaster yes keri and thank you for coming to class today vegasvixen smiles to annie Blackadder Hello annie Sex_GrandMaster Congratulations also to Y/you keri2000 thank you Sensei things to do keri2000 waves to vv keri2000 thank you Sir Sex_GrandMaster smiles Sex_GrandMaster ok vixen your list keri2000 {leaves} Sex_GrandMaster looks at vixen Sex_GrandMaster the class is a follow-up to last weeks annie Sex_GrandMaster smiles at you SNHs_tender.morsel scratches her head trying to make sense of her scribbled up list now SGMs_annie smiles and nods and looks for my list Blackadder {leaves} SNHs_tender.morsel . o O ( at least i have one this time ) Sex_GrandMaster ok morsel what did you move over to the needs column? SNHs_tender.morsel all those things i listed a minute ago Sensei along with retraining- physically and mentally control over sex SNHs_tender.morsel wondering about a few others though SNHs_tender.morsel wondering even vegasvixen {enters} Sex_GrandMaster ok now let's look at some of those and you explain why you need them Sex_GrandMaster wb vixen SGMs_annie smiles @ vixen SNHs_tender.morsel still wasn't sure they belonged in the needs side vegasvixen thank You Sensei Sex_GrandMaster just short explanations or ideas will do morsel Sex_GrandMaster well that is what W/we are going to decide here morsel, I am showing you how it works SNHs_tender.morsel all of them have a common thread Sensei they provide physical assurances that i belong to Him and in effect strengthen my feeling of submission SNHs_tender.morsel things i can feel see hear not just think Sex_GrandMaster ok besides the common thread what does each one have special to you? SNHs_tender.morsel hhmmm SNHs_tender.morsel restraining physical He has me where He wants me and i can not move i am there for Him and He can do anything to me Sex_GrandMaster and that does what? SNHs_tender.morsel restraining mental- telling me not to move after being placed - my willingness through submission to remain as placed Sex_GrandMaster nods SNHs_tender.morsel with physical restraining Sensei i'm not sure except that i willingly allowed Him to restrain me trusting Him there fore submitting to it? SNHs_tender.morsel i just know i crave it Sex_GrandMaster and it reinforces your trust? SNHs_tender.morsel that too Sensei He then has the power to hurt me if He so chose Sex_GrandMaster nods SNHs_tender.morsel i know without a doubt He will not ] Sex_GrandMaster ok that has 2 qualifications for being a need, craving and reinforcement Sex_GrandMaster so leave that in the need column SNHs_tender.morsel yes Sensei Sex_GrandMaster the mental restraint reinforces your knowing that it is your desire to be there and submit and you need that also Sex_GrandMaster so leave that in the needs column SNHs_tender.morsel yes Sensei Sex_GrandMaster now go on to the next one SNHs_tender.morsel looks back SNHs_tender.morsel control over sexual pleasure i'm not real sure about that one other than it causes me to hold back something simply because He has not permitted it yet Sex_GrandMaster are you still with us vixen? SNHs_tender.morsel the voluntary holding back is what i think it is i am after Sensei vegasvixen yes Sensei ...may i show You my list now ? Sex_GrandMaster and do you crave this also? SNHs_tender.morsel i think so Sensei i want it with every sexual encounter now Sex_GrandMaster nods SNHs_tender.morsel don't know if that qualifies as a craving though Sensei Sex_GrandMaster well mark that one as a question then *S* Sex_GrandMaster are you seeing how this works morsel? SNHs_tender.morsel i think so Sensei at least a little better than i did Sex_GrandMaster ok then you think about it awhile and W/we will take a look at some of vixens SNHs_tender.morsel yes Sensei Sex_GrandMaster vixen? Sex_GrandMaster hello vixen Sex_GrandMaster taps on her desk vegasvixen Needs: Physical discipline ..floggers bondage spanking ..mental Discipline ..required to earn and obtain permission for sexual pleasure Sex_GrandMaster ok physical discipline, define it and explain why you need it Sex_GrandMaster smiles vegasvixen Physical discipline is to me a combination of bondage ..floggers ..spanking ..nipple play etc ...so it is having my Dom physically control and stimulate my body Sex_GrandMaster nods to vixen vegasvixen i need it ...to feel fulfilled and complete Sex_GrandMaster and the level of desire or craving for this are? vegasvixen it would be second on my list only to what i consider mental discipline Sensei vegasvixen they are very close Sex_GrandMaster and these help to reinforce your submission? vegasvixen yes Sensei Sex_GrandMaster provide focus to your submission as it were Sex_GrandMaster ok tell Me about the mental discipline then beauty {enters} Sex_GrandMaster hello beauty beauty Hello Sir beauty i'm late again aren't i? vegasvixen Mental Discipline =behavior requirements with consequences ..being required to obtain permission and to earn sexual release Sex_GrandMaster nods beauty hi annie, morsel, vixen Sex_GrandMaster yes quite late beauty LOL beauty snaps my fingers beauty darn vegasvixen Mental Discipline : behavior requirements with consequences Sex_GrandMaster such as? vegasvixen eye contact , speech ...positioning ...being required to earn and obtain permission for sexual pleasure and release vegasvixen also under needs i have : Affection Verbal feedback , and appropriate punishment Sex_GrandMaster nods vegasvixen under wants i have ..a collar *s* ..to attend social functions ...wax play ..& sensory deprivation Sex_GrandMaster in other words the control reinforces your feeling of submission vegasvixen yes Sensei Sex_GrandMaster and of course the praise and affection reinforces that you have acted properly and earned those actions vegasvixen raises her hand Sex_GrandMaster ok Wants are things that you may or nay not have experienced but think you would enjoy Sex_GrandMaster but are not paramount to reinforcing your feeling of submitting at the moment Sex_GrandMaster yes vixen? vegasvixen i am still confused about the need to please ...i need to please but it should not be on my list because it is not a need but something earned??? SNHs_tender.morsel listens writing furiously Sex_GrandMaster no I'm sorry I should have corrected the number to just the first one on your list vixen vegasvixen nods Sex_GrandMaster the act of pleasing is a very strong reinforcement to your submission Sex_GrandMaster and for most it is at the top of their list vegasvixen Sensei > i cannot to submit to One that i do not feel i am desirable to vegasvixen Sex_GrandMaster nods Sex_GrandMaster as it should be vixen and it is always your right to choose Who you submit to vegasvixen are You saying that is a consideration that must happen before this list is even made ? beauty {leaves} Sex_GrandMaster no the list is personal vixen, you will need these things regardless of Who you submit to SNHs_tender.morsel may be seeing a dim light coming on in her head finally vegasvixen thank You Sensei ...i must excuse myself now Sex_GrandMaster some maybe less than others depending on the Who Sex_GrandMaster smiles and nods to vixen Sex_GrandMaster be well vixen vegasvixen ;smiles to A/all and blows kisses vegasvixen {leaves} Sex_GrandMaster any questions at this point? SGMs_annie shakes my head no SNHs_tender.morsel no Sensei it's all still a bit foggy but not as bad Sex_GrandMaster ok morsel it will help for you to discuss the class with Sire, not just to discuss the list but to have Him help show you how the determining works SNHs_tender.morsel i will Sensei Sex_GrandMaster I think you have the basic ideas at least morsel Sex_GrandMaster smiles SNHs_tender.morsel i hope so Sensei this has always been a very frustrating thing for me to try to figure out SNHs_tender.morsel almost gave up today Sex_GrandMaster it just takes time morsel SNHs_tender.morsel isn't sure she will ever fully get it Sex_GrandMaster take it slow and ask questions if you need answers *S* SNHs_tender.morsel is always asking questions Sensei some really out there ones Sex_GrandMaster chuckles Sex_GrandMaster the only way to get answers morsel SNHs_tender.morsel yes Sensei Sex_GrandMaster ok class is dismissed then for today