Tolerance 2-08-2003 sex_grandmaster-d well since nothing else comes to mind, I'll do a little talk on tolerance sex_grandmaster-d there are a couple of reasons for this topic at the moment sex_grandmaster-d smiles sgms_annie listens snhs_tender.morsel listens francescas_dragonwarrior {leaves} sex_grandmaster-d The first and main reason is just a reminder of overall good behavior and protocol sex_grandmaster-d the second reason is that there is a possibility of the Gorean rooms being expanded and occupied by new P/people to the Hall francescas_dragonwarrior {enters} sex_grandmaster-d I noticed earlier that there were a couple of new P/people in the 3 moons tavern francescas_dragonwarrior listens sex_grandmaster-d Tolerance is important in this lifestyle because there is such a broad range of how it is practiced by each I/individual francescas_dragonwarrior {leaves} snhs_tender.morsel listens sex_grandmaster-d I have seen S/some expound on how P/people should go about living the lifestyle and what a good sub or slave is, and what or Who a good Dom/me is or is not francescas_dragonwarrior {enters} sex_grandmaster-d and there are some basic attributes that can span the full spectrum of BDSM, while others are actually specific to T/those involved in that specific relationship sex_grandmaster-d for example a C/couple that is solely into slap and tickle would not really be comfortable with the criteria set down for a C/couple that is trying to practice slavery on a 24/7 basis sgms_annie nods francescas_dragonwarrior nods sex_grandmaster-d of course just the connotation of a slave opens another big discussion of what makes a slave and what the difference between a sub and a slave are sex_grandmaster-d there will be a lot of disagreement on both of these subjects, depending on how the P/people involved think sex_grandmaster-d so O/one needs to practice tolerance on the viewpoints of O/others sex_grandmaster-d that doesn't necessarily mean that you refute or accept another viewpoint, although by listening to what is said Y/you may find some new avenues of thought and understanding will develop francescas_dragonwarrior nods clytemnestra nods sex_grandmaster-d another example is the Gorean lifestyle sex_grandmaster-d this obviously is based on the books by John Norman and is fictional sex_grandmaster-d although a lot of the behavioral aspects of the books can be incorporated in actual R/L relationships, there is a large element of role-play involved francescas_dragonwarrior listens quietly and nods sex_grandmaster-d M/most will admit that it is largely role-playing in conversations outside of the role-playing arena snhs_tender.morsel listens sex_grandmaster-d however they won't during the actual role-playing as that is stepping out of character sex_grandmaster-d so tolerance here is that if you are in a role-playing arena, then Y/you should either respect that arena or remove Y/yourself from it sex_grandmaster-d a straight BDSM example could possibly be the Dom taking on the persona of a schoolteacher for a party and the sub taking the role of a troublesome student sex_grandmaster-d in order for the fantasy to be satisfying the C/characters must stay in the role sex_grandmaster-d so when Y/you see O/others role-playing tolerance deems that it is respected snhs_tender.morsel nods sgms_annie smiles -scarlet- {enters} francescas_dragonwarrior smiles sex_grandmaster-d now to connect this further to the BDSM lifestyle, it is important to be aware that for S/some the lifestyle is not an everyday 24/7 activity and it can't be sustained as such and incorporated into T/their everyday persona sex_grandmaster-d nods to scarlet -scarlet- smiles and takes my seat quietly sex_grandmaster-d these are the P/people that you will see having a definite persona during T/their BDSM activities as opposed to non role-playing personas sex_grandmaster-d although Y/you may not participate in role-play as a general activity it should still be tolerated and accepted as the norm for the C/couple involved clytemnestra listens sex_grandmaster-d as I say often, what I teach here is based on My thoughts, My experience and My idea of how the lifestyle is, it may fit with Y/yours and it may not sex_grandmaster-d some may be logical and applicable to Y/you and some may not francescas_dragonwarrior listens sex_grandmaster-d tolerance means that I accept that premise and advise Y/you to take what fits for Y/you and use it, discard what doesn't fit or seem to be logical to you sex_grandmaster-d intolerance would mean that Y/you discard all of what I teach because one or more things are disagreeable to Y/you sex_grandmaster-d or that I would refuse to teach A/anyone because T/they didn't agree with every little detail that slipped out of My mouth sgms_annie smiles sex_grandmaster-d smiles at the class sex_grandmaster-d intolerance would also be dangerous to Me because I may learn something later that changes My opinion or thoughts on a certain concept sex_grandmaster-d so what is tolerance made up of? sex_grandmaster-d any ideas from the class on that? sex_grandmaster-d looks at the class sgms_annie raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d annie? sgms_annie listening sgms_annie with an open mind too sex_grandmaster-d ok anything else? -scarlet- raises my hand snhs_tender.morsel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? francescas_dragonwarrior raises my hand -scarlet- allowing O/others to believe what T/they believe, even if it is opposed to what Y/you believe, Sensei sex_grandmaster-d nods sex_grandmaster-d morsel? snhs_tender.morsel respect for O/others Sensei and T/their choices or beliefs sex_grandmaster-d good one morsel *S* sex_grandmaster-d dw? snhs_tender.morsel smiles francescas_dragonwarrior morsel said what i was going to say, Master sex_grandmaster-d nods -scarlet- raises my hand again sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? -scarlet- as the saying goes ... agreeing to disagree -scarlet- if that is the case sex_grandmaster-d that's good *S* sex_grandmaster-d anything else? -scarlet- raises my hand (yet again) sex_grandmaster-d alright another saying that comes to mind is "live and let live" sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? -scarlet- putting aside any preconceived notions or stereotypes sex_grandmaster-d another good one *S* -scarlet- smiles (i might have been late, but that has never stopped me from talking!) sex_grandmaster-d chuckles snhs_tender.morsel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d and some times you are right on the money as well scarlet LOL sex_grandmaster-d morsel? -scarlet- thank You Sensei .. smiles snhs_tender.morsel i think open-mindedness and acceptance of differences has to come into play here too Sensei sex_grandmaster-d another good one morsel *S* snhs_tender.morsel smiles sex_grandmaster-d alright anything else? -scarlet- one more time i raise my hand sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? snhs_tender.morsel not here Sensei yet -scarlet- tolerance can be learning also, Sir .... opening O/oneself to reading up on, and trying to understand O/others viewpoints sex_grandmaster-d good scarlet sex_grandmaster-d smiles at the class sex_grandmaster-d anything else? snhs_tender.morsel shakes her head no francescas_dragonwarrior no, Master -scarlet- no, Sensei sex_grandmaster-d So W/we see that tolerance has many facets, many avenues for Y/you to take in order to help Y/you practice tolerance snhs_tender.morsel nods sex_grandmaster-d Respect, Consideration, Listening, realizing that not E/everyone is alike francescas_dragonwarrior nods -scarlet- smiles and nods sex_grandmaster-d Learning by listening to different ideas rather than insisting that yours is the only way for E/everyone sex_grandmaster-d I like to see My ways and thoughts as the right way sex_grandmaster-d FOR sex_grandmaster-d Me and Mine francescas_dragonwarrior nods sex_grandmaster-d if Y/you agree with some of it fine, if not that is fine with Me as well sex_grandmaster-d so "live and let live", "agree to disagree" sex_grandmaster-d however when in Rome do as the Rome do or get out of Rome snhs_tender.morsel . o O ( what floats Y/your boat may sink mine and that's ok it's not my boat ) sex_grandmaster-d in other words don't insist that if S/someone is not acting as Y/you like and it is T/their fantasy or role-play then either accept it or remove Y/yourself from that area sex_grandmaster-d chuckles at morsel sex_grandmaster-d any comments or questions? snhs_tender.morsel no Sensei -scarlet- raises my hand francescas_dragonwarrior no, Master sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? -scarlet- just one, Sensei ... i apologize for being late today clytemnestra none, Sensei sex_grandmaster-d smiles to scarlet -scarlet- smiles sex_grandmaster-d accepted but not necessary scarlet, I know that R/L sometimes interferes -scarlet- thank You Sensei sex_grandmaster-d by the way there won't be classes for the next two weeks sex_grandmaster-d I will be engaged with other activities and won't be available sgms_annie grins francescas_dragonwarrior smiles sex_grandmaster-d alright if there are no questions or comments, class is dismissed