Long Distance Relationships 3-2-02 ws_perfectangel {enters} sex_grandmaster-d {enters} francescas_dragonwarrior {enters} -scarlet- {enters} sex_grandmaster-d enters and strolls to the front of the class ws_perfectangel smiles and pulls up a cushion _vixen {enters} francescas_dragonwarrior quietly takes a seat right in the far corner.... -scarlet- sits down next to angel sex_grandmaster-d and your suggestion would be angel? ws_perfectangel smiles to scarlet ws_perfectangel if You really don't have a subject Sir... sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( it might be better than the subject I actually picked ) ws_perfectangel oops... ws_perfectangel never mind Sir...lol sex_grandmaster-d smiles sex_grandmaster-d no what is it angel? sex_grandmaster-d listens ws_perfectangel how to handle long distance relationships Sir ws_perfectangel know3s You have a bit of experience in that...lol sex_grandmaster-d smiles -scarlet- smiles at angel and winks francescas_dragonwarrior smiles ws_perfectangel or maybe in typos...lol sex_grandmaster-d that is always a tough situation angel ws_perfectangel nods sex_grandmaster-d looks around the class sex_grandmaster-d how many here are in LDR's? -scarlet- raises my hand francescas_dragonwarrior raises my hand ws_perfectangel holds up her hand sex_grandmaster-d ahhhhhh so vixen is the odd sub out? sex_grandmaster-d chuckles _vixen smiles francescas_dragonwarrior decides to raise all my hands and feet...lol ws_perfectangel laffs sex_grandmaster-d however it wasn't always that way was it vixen? _vixen i have had 2 long term LDRs Sensei 11months and 2 years ..and appreciate how hard it is sex_grandmaster-d smiles sex_grandmaster-d well I have covered the subject before, however that class is not posted and it seems like a good subject considering the class *S* ws_perfectangel thank You Sensei sex_grandmaster-d how many of you are having a problem coping with it now? ws_perfectangel raises her hand again francescas_dragonwarrior raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d ok there are two primary suggestions to start with *S* -scarlet- listens sex_grandmaster-d 1. Don't get involved in a long distance relationship francescas_dragonwarrior listens sex_grandmaster-d 2. O/one of Y/you move sex_grandmaster-d chuckles ws_perfectangel laffs francescas_dragonwarrior . o O ( just a short move in my case...lol ) sex_grandmaster-d Now obviously it is too late for the first advice sex_grandmaster-d smiles -scarlet- nods ws_perfectangel smiles francescas_dragonwarrior smiles sex_grandmaster-d and the second one is usually not easily done or it takes some time to plan and set up so that you can sex_grandmaster-d there is an advantage of course to the LDR and that is francescas_dragonwarrior . o O ( each visit is new in a way ) sex_grandmaster-d during the time Y/you are struggling with the distance, Y/you have the time and are more or less forced to find out if it is the right relationship and if it will work for Y/you ws_perfectangel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d angel? ws_perfectangel Sensei...can you ever really know that until Y/you have met? sex_grandmaster-d no not until Y/you have met *S* however most LDR's eventually lead to visits ws_perfectangel grins -scarlet- smiles and nods sex_grandmaster-d the visits are sweet, but the separation actually defines if it is going to work or not francescas_dragonwarrior raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d this is the period when Y/you get cranky and out of sorts because Y/you're not together sex_grandmaster-d yes dw? francescas_dragonwarrior i find that the hardest time for me is either just after or just before a visit Master sex_grandmaster-d nods sex_grandmaster-d the letdown just after a visit is hard because Y/you are used to the company of the O/other francescas_dragonwarrior nods _vixen . o O ( withdrawal ) sex_grandmaster-d the best way to handle this time period is to make an effort to remember the moments of the visit, take them out and savor them one by one sex_grandmaster-d nods to vixen -scarlet- raises my hand francescas_dragonwarrior i do that Master, i think with me it is also the jetlag to an extent as well Master sex_grandmaster-d they are fresh in your mind and will help buffer the withdrawal if you look at is as the pleasure Y/you had sex_grandmaster-d yes scarlet? -scarlet- after O/our last visit, on the flight home, i wrote and wrote about O/our meeting, and then emailed it to my Master ... that seemed to help the withdrawal sex_grandmaster-d nods and smiles sex_grandmaster-d jetlag would tend to put you in a lower state by itself so yes it would contribute to the problem dw sex_grandmaster-d I also suggest taking pictures during the visit so that you can go over those from time to time -scarlet- raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? -scarlet- my Master also made me a tape, so on the flight home (Germany to Los Angeles) i could listen to it over and over sex_grandmaster-d nods ws_perfectangel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d now that is a long distance one LOL does she have you beat dw? sex_grandmaster-d angel? francescas_dragonwarrior yes she does Master, by a couple of hours i think -scarlet- . o O ( Munich ) sex_grandmaster-d smiles ws_perfectangel Sir, as You know, I am unique in that I have not yet had the honor of meeting my Master. I have lots of anxiety about this. sex_grandmaster-d well this is common and just so you know it is on both sides of the fence angel ws_perfectangel smiles sex_grandmaster-d I always tell Anyone I am mentoring to be careful about hard commitments until after the first meeting as there is always the chance that the online spark won't be there in RL ws_perfectangel nods sex_grandmaster-d I have seen it happen more than once sex_grandmaster-d I cautioned annie about that before O/our first meeting as there is the possibility that she could have seen Me for the first time and decided that I wasn't the Master for her *S* ws_perfectangel . o O ( not likely ) sex_grandmaster-d and conversely I could have seen her and not felt the spark, so it can go both ways ws_perfectangel nods sex_grandmaster-d smiles at angel sex_grandmaster-d thank you for the assurance there angel *S* ws_perfectangel has seen what Y/you two share Sir... ws_perfectangel "smiles sex_grandmaster-d now I know as subs you are more worried about being accepted by the Master or Mistress than you think They are about you finding Them acceptable sex_grandmaster-d however only an Idiot would be so confident as to think that They are going to be accepted hands down regardless, especially if it is for the things that count francescas_dragonwarrior was so nervous about meeting my Mistress sex_grandmaster-d besides that there is the chemistry factor and sometimes that just doesn't happen -scarlet- nods at dragonwarrior, and nods and nods sex_grandmaster-d yes I know dw, I saw you wandering back and forth in the Airport LOL francescas_dragonwarrior chuckles and blushes ws_perfectangel . o O ( isn't nervous...much ) francescas_dragonwarrior well one thing about that Master, i will never forget it francescas_dragonwarrior laughs sex_grandmaster-d now after you have struggled through the withdrawal symptoms of the visit you have a time of waiting until the next one, I suggest that you make the times between as short as feasible considering your finances, vacations, and distance _vixen {leaves} _vixen {enters} sex_grandmaster-d during this time you will basically go back to your normal day-to-day activities _vixen dusts off her butt and sits back down sex_grandmaster-d smiles at vixen _vixen smiles back sex_grandmaster-d this is the point that you share time reminiscing about the last visit and begin planning the next visit ws_perfectangel nods sex_grandmaster-d always look at the positive side in order to keep the depression factor to a minimum ws_perfectangel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d when you start feeling depressed about not being together turn it around and reminisce about something that was particularly great in the last visit or the one before that even sex_grandmaster-d yes angel? ws_perfectangel but Sir...isn't some depression inevitable, presuming one has found that the visit went well? sex_grandmaster-d yes it is and that is why I said "minimum" *S* ws_perfectangel never mind..You just answered that...*s* sex_grandmaster-d in other words you can't allow depression to get a controlling grip on your emotions ws_perfectangel nods sex_grandmaster-d your M/M should help you with this and you should tell Them when you are having trouble sex_grandmaster-d a good talk and going over the last visit together will help B/both sex_grandmaster-d smiles ws_perfectangel . o O ( a good talk usually solves most things ) sex_grandmaster-d make an effort to highlight the positive feelings and the negative feelings tend to go away -scarlet- smiles and nods francescas_dragonwarrior nods sex_grandmaster-d another point is to look forward and not back except for the positives ws_perfectangel nods sex_grandmaster-d in other words when you are looking at the past look for the fun times the good memories sex_grandmaster-d when you are looking forward to the next visit look at the plans you have for it _vixen likes making plans sex_grandmaster-d lot's of preparations *S* ws_perfectangel grins -scarlet- raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d also during the middle period you can take advantage of the time to get into better shape for your M/M sex_grandmaster-d scarlet? -scarlet- if i may Sensei, ask a question of dragonwarrior.... did you have any problems with the airlines security in bringing "preparations"? ws_perfectangel laffs...good question sex_grandmaster-d listens sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( I know the answer already of course ) wanderingstarr-d {enters} sex_grandmaster-d nods to WS ws_perfectangel smiles to her Master -scarlet- smiles to WS wanderingstarr-d waves and goes and sits down sex_grandmaster-d dw? sex_grandmaster-d I know the answer can't be that long LOL sex_grandmaster-d maybe he got booted -scarlet- . o O ( maybe he got caught by customs ) francescas_dragonwarrior not as yet no sis, but then i haven't really bought anything to the States as such as yet francescas_dragonwarrior . o O ( i have been stopped by customs once in 5 visits ) sex_grandmaster-d actually scarlet Fran brings all of the toys with Her sex_grandmaster-d as I bring the toys when annie and I meet -scarlet- nods, is normally not stopped at customs, due to my job, but now with the added security, i wasn't sure ws_perfectangel no problems at the airport Sir? _vixen . o O ( they did ask where the key to his collar was ) sex_grandmaster-d however I don't carry anything onboard except clothes francescas_dragonwarrior the only thing i need to do is ensure that my collar is not in the cabin luggage -scarlet- thank You Sensei, and dragonwarrior ws_perfectangel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d nothing so far angel, it is all in the checked baggage and I guess none of My bags have been subjected to the random checks there LOL sex_grandmaster-d yes angel? ws_perfectangel smiles to SGM ws_perfectangel may I ask why there is a problem with collars? sex_grandmaster-d looks at dw francescas_dragonwarrior it's just that mine does have a little point to it sis and i don't want to risk security deciding it could be used as a weapon, that and the strong chain on it texas_knight {enters} ws_perfectangel ahhh..ok texas_knight Oh, excuse Me. sorry sex_grandmaster-d come in and sit in if You like TK sex_grandmaster-d smiles texas_knight Thank You SGM.. I may for a bit sex_grandmaster-d You'll excuse the subs as they aren't allowed to greet during class sex_grandmaster-d smiles texas_knight quietly finds a seat texas_knight Yes, I understand sex_grandmaster-d I think angel that it is the amount of metal involved in the collars and they set off the security alarms ws_perfectangel nods francescas_dragonwarrior i used to wear mine until the security went up Master sex_grandmaster-d nods sex_grandmaster-d yours is an exception dw as it has the points and a heavy chain sex_grandmaster-d so back to the class subject *S* sgms_annie {enters} sex_grandmaster-d I think the other period of most stress was just prior to the next visit sex_grandmaster-d nods to Mine sgms_annie smiles sex_grandmaster-d points to a seat sgms_annie slides into the seat and listens sex_grandmaster-d I think this would be normal due to the preparations, but most likely you are experiencing feelings of elation and the desire for time to hurry past sex_grandmaster-d the only solution for this is patience sex_grandmaster-d smiles sex_grandmaster-d if you have trouble with patience talk about it with your M/M and perhaps they can spend some time improving your patience with some training sex_grandmaster-d grins -scarlet- chuckles ws_perfectangel laffs sex_grandmaster-d I don't really think that you experience any depression during this period other than that created by anxiety for time to pass sex_grandmaster-d looks at the class sex_grandmaster-d do any of you have depression at that time? francescas_dragonwarrior no Master _vixen reluctantly stands and waves bye to A/all ...then poofs sex_grandmaster-d anxiety? _vixen {leaves} -scarlet- no Sensei sex_grandmaster-d lack of patience? sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( I'll find something if I keep going ) ws_perfectangel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d yes angel? sex_grandmaster-d smiles ws_perfectangel patience is not one of my virtues in any situation Sir... ws_perfectangel grins sex_grandmaster-d looks to WS wanderingstarr-d nods sex_grandmaster-d well I think this is something you need to discuss with your Master LOL ws_perfectangel yes Sensei sex_grandmaster-d perhaps some extensive training in the pleasures of waiting, after all you know they say if it's worth having it's worth waiting for *G* ws_perfectangel *g* sex_grandmaster-d alright just to put your minds to rest the feelings you have are also experienced by your M/M although We may not express it as much as you do *S* sgms_annie listens trying to catch up francescas_dragonwarrior chuckles texas_knight nods sex_grandmaster-d now are there any questions or comments? francescas_dragonwarrior no Master sex_grandmaster-d looks at the class and smiles ws_perfectangel no Sensei -scarlet- no Sensei sex_grandmaster-d well then class was either really good or really bad LOL ws_perfectangel raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d angel? ws_perfectangel some of the suggestions will help I think...thank You Sensei sex_grandmaster-d you're welcome angel and I hope they do *S* ws_perfectangel smiles sex_grandmaster-d alright then class is dismissed -scarlet- thank You Sensei sex_grandmaster-d you may stay and chat or discuss if you wish wanderingstarr-d SGM did that toy arrive yet ws_perfectangel thank You Sensei sex_grandmaster-d you're welcome scarlet ws_perfectangel walks over and sits at her Master's feet sex_grandmaster-d you're welcome angel