Enhancing versus altering 9/15/01 sex_grandmaster-d class subject for class today is enhancing personality versus altering it sgms_annie smiles and listens _vixen takes out her #2 pencil snhs_tender.morsel laffs sex_grandmaster-d now the first thing that has to be realized here is that you were chosen for your basic personality _vixen smiles rexs_chrissy smiles taking notes ws_buttercup listens sex_grandmaster-d when a Dom/me or a sub for that matter is looking for the O/other, they are attracted by who the P/person seems to be francescas_dragonwarrior {leaves} sex_grandmaster-d and also where the interests appear to lie sex_grandmaster-d now Y/you notice I used the terms seem and appear sex_grandmaster-d smiles _vixen nods sex_grandmaster-d the point is that appearances can be deceiving so make sure of the choices by taking some time getting acquainted _vixen . o O ( ...false advertising ) sex_grandmaster-d it's not unrealistic to assume that the Dom/me will want to make some changes to what you do and how you do it wanderingstarr-d {enters} wanderingstarr-d waves and moves to the corner ws_buttercup smiles at Master as He enters _vixen smiles to WS Sir sex_grandmaster-d but in most cases they will not want to alter your personality and if they do I suggest that you take a closer look before getting involved sex_grandmaster-d nods to WS wanderingstarr-d nods to SGM sex_grandmaster-d enhancing who and what you are however is a responsibility that the Dom/me is charges with sex_grandmaster-d in other words making you the best sub that you can be, teaching and training you to respond as they wish without changing who you are sex_grandmaster-d somewhat of a customizing procedure ws_buttercup listens sex_grandmaster-d so enhancing your personality is to improve what you already are sex_grandmaster-d altering your personality is the act of changing who and what you are, this shouldn't be confused with the natural growth and change that will take place ws_buttercup raises hand sex_grandmaster-d the part that you play in this relates somewhat to mind set and how you employ that sex_grandmaster-d yes bc? sex_grandmaster-d taps the screen ws_buttercup Sensei, i am wondering...from the sub's point of view things can seem different...how does she/he know the Dom/me is only trying to enhance qualities to their liking if it *feels* like They are trying to make you go against how you are...?? ws_buttercup i think You sort of answered it a bit with *mind set* Sir... snhs_tender.morsel raises her hand ws_buttercup wishes she could type faster sex_grandmaster-d smiles at bc sex_grandmaster-d I'll take morsels question and then try to answer yours bc sex_grandmaster-d yes morsel? snhs_tender.morsel Sire has recently made it known to me that He would like to see a more sweet soft spoken "demure" me i think i know but i want to make sure is that enhancing or altering Sensei and if it is enhancing can mindset help develop that so that it becomes more natural? snhs_tender.morsel this is not a trait that He has not already seen in me just not seen it as often as He would like sex_grandmaster-d nods sex_grandmaster-d ok I think I can answer both of your questions as they seem to relate somewhat sex_grandmaster-d smiles ws_buttercup listens sex_grandmaster-d let's take an example here mstress-dream-d {leaves} _vixen listens intently sex_grandmaster-d If for instance morsel you didn't have this trait and it was forced on you and you were not allowed to express yourself then that would be altering your personality sex_grandmaster-d on the other hand if you didn't have that trait and it was taught to you as part of your training and you were guided to include the more demure responses it would be training and enhancing your personality snhs_tender.morsel nods sex_grandmaster-d already having that personality trait and being encouraged to show it more or incorporate it more in your activities is enhancing you rexs_chrissy smiles making notes chewing the pencil end sex_grandmaster-d this can be done with gentle reminders and guidance ws_buttercup raises hand sex_grandmaster-d now let Me point out two basic parameters that will make the difference between the two cases easier to define ws_buttercup listens sex_grandmaster-d If you are not allowed to do something that is natural to your personality and in fact are punished if you do it, than that is altering your personality, you are not cooperating and it is against your will sex_grandmaster-d if you are encouraged to bring out a pleasing quality that you don't show often for some reason and are encouraged and helped along with your willing participation, then this is enhancing your personality sex_grandmaster-d your question bc? ws_buttercup Sensei, You had said before even if a sub didn't have this particular quality of being demure in response and actions it could he taught and guided with training...and that is enhancing even though it didn't exist before... sex_grandmaster-d nods ws_buttercup i am wondering what an example of changing ones personality would be then... ws_buttercup It almost seems like anything presented and taught in the right way can be enhancing if it pleases the Dom/me sex_grandmaster-d there is a fine line here bc and it pivots on whether you are doing it willingly and if it was suggested rather than demanded ws_buttercup listens sex_grandmaster-d in other words if the change in personality is suggested and you see that it is an improvement and work for it willingly then in any case that is enhancement, since you will be a better person afterwards sex_grandmaster-d an example in the vanilla world might be someone taking public speaking classes or management classes ws_buttercup understands sex_grandmaster-d they might not have those skills but they want them sex_grandmaster-d so for example, let's say that I have a sweet demure submissive that is a wallflower sex_grandmaster-d one that is not exhibitionistic or outgoing sex_grandmaster-d I insist that she dresses up in scanty clothes and take her to a party then make her get up and dance and sing to the crowd _vixen winces snhs_tender.morsel . o O ( yikes ) ws_buttercup . o O ( sounds like that is more like abuse than enhancing...lol ) sex_grandmaster-d not only that but I insist that she enjoys it and repeats it at My will until she does like it sex_grandmaster-d eventually she decides she likes to do this sex_grandmaster-d I have altered her personality by force sex_grandmaster-d she was not willing or even interested to begin with ws_buttercup listens rexs_chrissy raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d now if on the other hand I encouraged her to make friends, talk with others and slowly come around to dressing in scanty clothes because I like that, then it can be considered enhancing what was already there just buried ws_buttercup understands sex_grandmaster-d yes chrissy? rexs_chrissy Sensei can forcing one to change lead to resentment in some cases? sex_grandmaster-d unless your a doormat it will cause resentment in all cases chrissy sex_grandmaster-d smiles sex_grandmaster-d so part of the answer really comes down to you ..... rexs_chrissy thinks sex_grandmaster-d do you feel that it might be an improvement to your personality? sex_grandmaster-d is it against your own common interest to incorporate the addition or change in what you do? sex_grandmaster-d are you participating in the changes willingly? sex_grandmaster-d can you see a new and better you by incorporating these changes? sex_grandmaster-d these of course are questions that only you can answer sex_grandmaster-d smiles ws_buttercup . o O ( makes sense now ) sex_grandmaster-d the point is that W/we all grow and change, if W/we grow and change to be a better person socially or publicly then it is enhancement, even if Y/you do it by yourself _vixen listens sex_grandmaster-d how many people have Y/you met at the store or at work that you have thought "boy they could use some personal social skills"? ws_buttercup giggles sex_grandmaster-d "they could be a little more pleasant"? sgms_annie . o O ( a new personality? ) sex_grandmaster-d how many times do you think they have had the opportunity to be told that or offered help and guidance to get it? sex_grandmaster-d some eventually seek those skills out on their own while others never do sex_grandmaster-d so enhancement or alteration? sex_grandmaster-d It depends on whether it is beneficial to you and whether you are willing to make the changes ws_buttercup understands rexs_chrissy makes more notes sex_grandmaster-d alteration is change, enhancement is change snhs_tender.morsel Sire nods sex_grandmaster-d forced change is not acceptable in any case *S* sex_grandmaster-d after all you were chosen for what you are basically and the potential that is seen in you to be your best sex_grandmaster-d I might add that just because an enhancement or change is suggested or recommended it doesn't mean that you are unacceptable sex_grandmaster-d it basically means that the Dom/me sees more capability and potential in you than you are using or releasing sex_grandmaster-d smiles lupusrex_d smiles wanderingstarr-d nods sex_grandmaster-d morsel did that long diatribe answer your question? snhs_tender.morsel had to wrestle with that notion first sgms_annie smiles at You rexs_chrissy nods to morsel still fighting that dragon myself sis snhs_tender.morsel yes Sensei it did now i just have to find a way learn to bring out more of what He wants to see sex_grandmaster-d you do know that you have it there right morsel? snhs_tender.morsel it shows up naturally under certain circumstances yes Sensei but it happens on it's own i don't know how to make it happen other times sex_grandmaster-d perhaps you should read the mind set class again in light of this new information snhs_tender.morsel i did that last night Sensei and Obedience and Training LOL sex_grandmaster-d Y/you know that there is always new information in the old depending on the light you are looking at it in? sex_grandmaster-d smiles snhs_tender.morsel yes Sensei i will study them again and again and again lol ws_buttercup . o O ( knows that and re-reads the classes all the time finding *new* information...lol ) sex_grandmaster-d and I'm sure that you will see what you need to do sex_grandmaster-d looks at SNH snhs_tender.morsel Sire looks back sex_grandmaster-d and SNH it is Your responsibility to gently guide and help her to see what she can do sex_grandmaster-d smiles snhs_tender.morsel Sire agrees about re reading the info sex_grandmaster-d and morsel it is your responsibility to listen to Him with the concept that He is trying to teach, guide and help you become your best sex_grandmaster-d Alright any questions? snhs_tender.morsel and Sire B/both nod in agreement sex_grandmaster-d smiles and looks around the class ws_buttercup . o O ( none here ) sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( now that is unusual ) ws_buttercup giggles sex_grandmaster-d ok class is dismissed then, Y/you may stay and chat or discuss if Y/you wish