balancing your lifestyle with the vanilla world 10-05-2002 lil.red.ridinghood good afternoon Sensei morsel_n_dw {enters} clytemnestra {enters} lil.red.ridinghood sits in the front desk at the center of the room lauraleigh {enters} clytemnestra merely sits down lauraleigh lordy sex_grandmaster-d hello red lil.red.ridinghood smiles morsel_n_dw takes a seat and makes a note to put it back after class sex_grandmaster-d now let's see .......... who is attending for the first time? lauraleigh raises her hand clytemnestra puts up his hand lil.red.ridinghood takes out her notebook and several gel pens sex_grandmaster-d alright dw fill the new students in on the rules of class sex_grandmaster-d shuffles papers on the desk and thinks of a subject lauraleigh listens intently morsel_n_dw yes Master i will see what i can remember exactly morsel_n_dw thinks sex_grandmaster-d I'm sure morsel can help dw morsel_n_dw icq's or other message programs on away or invisible or turned off, no pm'ing while in class either..except to let you Master/Mistress know you are in class lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( :reads her previous notes... no greetings after class starts, His name is Sensei, ) clytemnestra for one, in class, SGM Sir is referred to as Sensei - i believe (?) morsel_n_dw blushes as i put my q on away lauraleigh raises her hand morsel_n_dw the teacher is to be addressed as Sensei, unless ones Master sex_grandmaster-d Anyone who is teaching is referred to as Sensei clyte ISI morsel_n_dw or Mistress clytemnestra noted, Thank You sex_grandmaster-d anything else dw? morsel_n_dw raise your hand if you have a question or something to say and then wait until the Teacher asks you...thoughts etc are ok lauraleigh raises her hand.. sex_grandmaster-d yes lauraleigh? morsel_n_dw there is no need to ask permission to enter or leave, just do so if needed. morsel_n_dw no greetings during class morsel_n_dw wonders if i have missed anything or made any errors sindra slips in quietly taking a seat sex_grandmaster-d wb sindra sindra ty Sensei clytemnestra nods to red sex_grandmaster-d just finished with going over the rules so you haven't missed anything yet *S* sindra thank You Sensei i couldn't find them morsel_n_dw {leaves} lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( trouble in rivercity? ) sindra isn't there always red LMAAO lil.red.ridinghood bites her tongue being good sindra . o O ( sits and coughs and snivels.....ohhhh i have strep throat.... ) sex_grandmaster-d passes out a box of Kleenex to the ill ones lil.red.ridinghood passes an extra box of Kleenex to sind lil.red.ridinghood jinx sindra thank You Sensei sindra and red sex_grandmaster-d smiles lil.red.ridinghood thank You Sensei sex_grandmaster-d alright then does anyone have a burning subject they need covered for class? lil.red.ridinghood blows her nose a good one before class starts lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d red? lil.red.ridinghood how about something dealing with finding that balance in life? sex_grandmaster-d balance between? lil.red.ridinghood it's something i'm really working on right now... it's hard for me to accept both sides of myself as equally beautiful at the same time sex_grandmaster-d nods and marks that one down sex_grandmaster-d that's a pretty good subject red *S* anyone else? sindra shakes my head morsel_n_dw {enters} sindra her even Sex_grandmaster-d wb morsel and dw sindra wb smiles lil.red.ridinghood braids the strand of hair escaping the pigtails while she waits morsel_n_dw thank You Master/Sir sex_grandmaster-d ok the choice is between balancing your lifestyle with the vanilla world or the one I had selected which is jealousy sex_grandmaster-d any other suggestions? sex_grandmaster-d looks around morsel_n_dw none that immediately come to mind Master lil.red.ridinghood braids intently sex_grandmaster-d ok those for balancing? sindra no Sensei sex_grandmaster-d raise your hands lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand to vote lauraleigh raises her hand clytemnestra raises his hand morsel_n_dw {enters} sex_grandmaster-d well that looks like 3 to 3 LOL lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand morsel_n_dw . o O ( 3 to 3 on what Master? ) sex_grandmaster-d the vote dw I guess you were stuck sex_grandmaster-d jealousy or balancing? morsel_n_dw yes i was Master sex_grandmaster-d what's your choice? morsel_n_dw balancing Master lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( it might be better to have a lesson Sensei is more prepared to teach.... maybe save balancing for another time... ok or not.... ) sex_grandmaster-d red? lil.red.ridinghood i was just thinking *points up* sex_grandmaster-d all My lessons are extemporaneous anyway red, it doesn't matter sex_grandmaster-d smiles lil.red.ridinghood blushes sindra laffs sex_grandmaster-d well they are LOL I never prepare for a lesson sex_grandmaster-d smiles sex_grandmaster-d alright then, Balancing this lifestyle an your desires with the life you are forced to lead in the vanilla world morsel_n_dw . o O ( often the best way Master, especially with subs ) sex_grandmaster-d it would seem initially that the two are diametrically opposed morsel_n_dw listens sex_grandmaster-d on the lifestyle side you have lustful desires and turn ons that aren't sanctioned by the vanilla worlds sex_grandmaster-d world either sex_grandmaster-d the vanilla side requires you to be prim and proper morsel_n_dw nods sex_grandmaster-d proper according to the mores of the moral majority clytemnestra nods and agrees lil.red.ridinghood has that prim and proper thing mastered sex_grandmaster-d someone famous once said that the moral majority is neither, I don't remember who to credit that too, but I firmly agree with that premise morsel_n_dw . o O ( i think Disraeli did but he wasn't the first ) lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d if you look at the events that happen with these so called moral people it appears that they hide their bad behavior until the pressure builds and then they act in far worse ways than W/we do in the lifestyle sex_grandmaster-d yes red? morsel_n_dw nods in agreement clytemnestra typical of the Victorians, anyway - prim and proper outwardly but, inside........ lil.red.ridinghood unfortunately, it doesn't matter how many of them there are, what matters is how loud they are and how many sheep listen to them clytemnestra . o O ( sorry, i should have thought that ) sindra raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d that is true red and mostly why most of U/us are still in the closet so to speak sex_grandmaster-d sindra? sindra smiles having lived and been raised on Vanilla lane, Sensei i think that most just don't admit that other than plain old missionary, they don't venture into the hard core BDSM lifestyle but in all actuality most of them do participate they just wont admit to it.......like a man who makes loves to his wife while pinning her hands to the bed above her head...thus...not vanilla but a form of bondage without the ties.....its just the stereo type of Hollywood BDSM that ruins it for others sex_grandmaster-d true sindra, it's not admitted to and there are a lot that do this in the bedroom, usually they are not even aware of the kink they are practicing sex_grandmaster-d smiles morsel_n_dw nods in agreement sex_grandmaster-d now the problem is that in the Lifestyle, the D/s behavior is moved out of the bedroom and incorporated into the rest of the relationship sex_grandmaster-d this is when the problem of acceptance is generated lauraleigh raises her hand... sex_grandmaster-d acceptance is a problem because they do not understand the Lifestyle, people fear what they don't know or understand, further there is a stigma attached to knowing or understanding the variances of life ....... gays and lesbians have faced this for generations sex_grandmaster-d yes lauraleigh? lauraleigh i think it is just like when the world was "fearful" of homosexuality.. once educated... it was easier. i think if there was a "sensible" way to educate this lifestyle would be accepted.. lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand lauraleigh oO same thought ,almost sex_grandmaster-d well homosexuality is far from being accepted on a common level as of yet lauraleigh .... closer than BDSM though sex_grandmaster-d yes red? lil.red.ridinghood it's the internal balance that is so hard for me to find. it's just as hard if not harder for me to accept that i have a beautiful and complete vanilla side when i'm visiting and playing on the weekends sex_grandmaster-d nods and smiles morsel_n_dw nods to red lauraleigh hm sex_grandmaster-d I am laying the foundation for understanding and dealing with that red *S* lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( could just be my age and stage of development too ) lil.red.ridinghood nods sindra smiles at red sex_grandmaster-d let's say that homosexuality is tolerated more now than in the past because it has been shown that it isn't going to go away lil.red.ridinghood nods morsel_n_dw nods clytemnestra raises his hand sex_grandmaster-d what most people don't realize is that BDSM has been around in various forms as long or longer than homosexuality has lil.red.ridinghood nods sex_grandmaster-d this is due to the fact that it is the more recent of the variances to be defined and given a name sex_grandmaster-d yes clyte? clytemnestra it is my feeling that homosexuality and the BDSM Lifestyle will take a very long time ever to realize proper recognition, as acceptance is given by the common masses who are invariably ignorant as to the implications clytemnestra invariably, even lil.red.ridinghood raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d and further they have no desire to put out the effort to learn about anything different sex_grandmaster-d red? clytemnestra when one considers the uproar that occurs whenever there is the murder of a child - the ignorant masses automatically think that anyone with a profession starting "ped" is a pedophile - not necessarily a pediatrician lil.red.ridinghood is it really necessary for those who choose to be vanilla to learn about and accept what i do in my personal life? I honestly don't care what they are doing in the bedroom. lauraleigh raises her hand... sex_grandmaster-d no it isn't red but your being able to accept this is necessary *S* sex_grandmaster-d yes lauraleigh? sex_grandmaster-d in other words this non-acceptance is part of the problem of your ability to accept it lil.red.ridinghood blinks sex_grandmaster-d lauraleigh? sindra raises her hand lauraleigh {leaves} sex_grandmaster-d sindra? morsel_n_dw raises my hand sindra isn't it ones self acceptance of each individuals own beauty that makes this easier to be a piece with? knowing that one has the right to feel passions and admit to lusts and desires without inhibitions? sindra at peace even ;p; sex_grandmaster-d coming to that part sindra *S* sindra that self internal peace, sorry Sir lil.red.ridinghood waits for "that part" sex_grandmaster-d I covered the basis of this problem in the class on training or retraining lauraleigh {enters} sex_grandmaster-d A/all of us have had a foundation of fitting in with the norm taught from early childhood, we don't even think about it anymore because it has become natural responses sex_grandmaster-d wb lauraleigh *S* your question was? lauraleigh my thought was thinking about reds comment,about finding a acceptance on weekends to being vanilla,,,i always seem to have a portion of my submissiveness by nature in anything i do.... sex_grandmaster-d nods and smiles sex_grandmaster-d I'm sure red does too even if she doesn't recognize it or ignores it at present lauraleigh whew i thought gawd am i abnormal? lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( you have to be full on Domme when planning every breathing moment of 90 middle schoolers for 40 hours a week ) sex_grandmaster-d Now somewhere during our lifetime the lustful thoughts and desires start to spring up in O/our thoughts or dreams morsel_n_dw chuckles at reds thought sex_grandmaster-d many shuffle them under the rug as perverted or weird morsel_n_dw raises my hand lil.red.ridinghood has built a nearly impenetrable wall around her lustful thoughts... until recently didn't even know she had any sex_grandmaster-d sometimes they aren't even recognized as lustful and perverted thoughts until much later lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( now they just scare the hell out of me when i find one creeping out or in ) sex_grandmaster-d yes dw? morsel_n_dw is worry/concern that certain people may find out the same as what You were saying a short while ago Master? sex_grandmaster-d I don't think I understand the question dw sex_grandmaster-d are you saying that is the reason it is covered up? morsel_n_dw the non-acceptance Master, yes Master in my case sex_grandmaster-d yes that is the biggest factor in hiding it from yourself and others sindra raises my hand morsel_n_dw thinks so anyway sex_grandmaster-d sindra? morsel_n_dw thank You Master sindra isn't what red is feeling unlike a child that learns to walk, we have to learn to explore just as a child, to find out what our own needs are to be fulfilled and just have to hope that we find someone that does not look on that erotic side of us as dirty.....i think that is where the "impeccable fortress" is made....choosing the wrong partner to explore such delectable delights....shyly blushes sindra i know i did that sindra chose the wrong ones sex_grandmaster-d in other the fear or concern that you will be labeled a pervert or sociopath and a danger to society sindra nods morsel_n_dw listens sex_grandmaster-d adds words in that sentence morsel_n_dw nods sex_grandmaster-d so how do W/we deal with this? lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( i'm not afraid of the label i'm afraid of opening up and actually feeling that "delight"...that's another class altogether though ) lauraleigh raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d the first thing that you have to do is realize that every person is an individual and there is no proper mold as the Purtinasts would like to believe sindra raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d lauraleigh? lauraleigh so are you saying you need to learn to accept yourself first? as you feel? sex_grandmaster-d I'll continue on that laura as it isn't that simple or easy *S* sex_grandmaster-d sindra? lauraleigh i am afraid to correct my spelling as i boot myself.. sindra self love and embracing every emotion in yourself sex_grandmaster-d try using the arrow and delete keys lauraleigh *S* morsel_n_dw nods in agreement with Your words about it not being that simple or easy sex_grandmaster-d the process of acceptance is admitting to yourself that you are different, look in the mirror and tell yourself about all the nasty lustful and kinky desires that you have sindra smiles lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d tell yourself about the things that turn you on and what you would like to happen of fantasize happening sex_grandmaster-d hold your thought red *S* morsel_n_dw hasn't really ever done that sex_grandmaster-d Then after you have spilled your guts honestly to yourself and exposed that raw person inside so that you know them intimately sindra blushes at that thought sex_grandmaster-d tell yourself that it's alright ....... that's who you are, in the process be totally honest with yourself about your good points and your bad points sex_grandmaster-d if you find some things that you don't like then go about changing them so you can be a better person sex_grandmaster-d accept that you like this perverted behavior and that it doesn't hurt anyone else, if it has that potential then agree that you won't do that particular activity sex_grandmaster-d red? lil.red.ridinghood is there a step that comes before that Sensei? cause just the idea of completing that little task is enough to make me want to hide under the bed sex_grandmaster-d damn good thing subs are strong people isn't it red? sex_grandmaster-d smiles sex_grandmaster-d remember I said it wasn't that easy or simple lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( never mind the fact i'd have to kick the ropes and books out of the way ) sindra AFK morsel_n_dw agrees with red's previous post sex_grandmaster-d actually you can do it in several sittings, start out slow lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( i've been doing it verrrrrrrry slowly over the course of 4 years ) sex_grandmaster-d get acquainted with that person in the mirror intimately, examine how they look accept the flaws and cracks lauraleigh raises her hand lil.red.ridinghood has almost got that part down after 4 years... almost morsel_n_dw nods slowly sex_grandmaster-d tell them that you are the best friend they have because you will be with them for the rest of your life clytemnestra raises his hand sex_grandmaster-d I can guarantee you that you are the only person that can make that statement lil.red.ridinghood checks that off.... sex_grandmaster-d so you better decide to be your own best friend ...... and what makes a best friend? sex_grandmaster-d your question clyte? lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand to answer Sensei's question morsel_n_dw listens clytemnestra i have no problem about accepting who/what i am - i think that i knew that long ago (or much of it anyway) - to me, the problem lies in the lack of opportunity to give it vent, in the lack of any balance between the two lifestyles - that is where extreme frustration can come in. clytemnestra lack, even sex_grandmaster-d nods sex_grandmaster-d in other the difficulty in finding the venue to participate now that you have reconciled your perverted behavior LOL lauraleigh {leaves} sex_grandmaster-d adds words sex_grandmaster-d red? sex_grandmaster-d what makes a best friend? morsel_n_dw listens clytemnestra . o O ( looking back, i can think of 'things' that happened when i was still a child which might have been early indications that i might have had "odd" interests - going back nearly 50 years now - lol ) lil.red.ridinghood i know exactly what a best friend does, i'm an expert in bestfriendship... best friends are there and love you, all of you, for as long as you both live. best friends call you on your crap when you're being an idiot, best friends hold you close when you're hurt lauraleigh {enters} sex_grandmaster-d smiles sex_grandmaster-d and best friends tell you the truth even at the risk of alienating you lil.red.ridinghood nods, but that's because they know it won't happen. morsel_n_dw nods slowly sex_grandmaster-d and the fact is that you are the only one guaranteed to be with you forever clytemnestra . o O ( must try and find out one day what a friend is - lol ) lil.red.ridinghood listens and hears that lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( ok maybe i can talk to myself about those lustful desires.. might be easier to just write them first though ) sex_grandmaster-d now once you know who and what you are in intimate detail and have reconciled it and accept that it is alright, that you don't have to have anyone else's approval for your desires then you can begin to organize your lifestyle to fit in lauraleigh smiles morsel_n_dw smiles sex_grandmaster-d you will realize that there is a place and time for those activities in your daily life lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( my monthly life You mean... my weekly life maybe... but daily? i don't know about that ) sex_grandmaster-d look at it this way *S* if you have two jobs, one being a teacher and the other working at McD's morsel_n_dw listens lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( they pay about the same ) sex_grandmaster-d when your teaching school you don't ask if they want fries with their homework sex_grandmaster-d and when you're at McD's you don't lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( He's obviously never taught in the inner-city ) sex_grandmaster-d hand out homework with their burgers lil.red.ridinghood nods morsel_n_dw chuckles and knows the answer to the first part would be definite yes is O/one did sex_grandmaster-d so your daily activities have their little boxes and niches that you fill morsel_n_dw nods sex_grandmaster-d and on your own time you can fill those boxes and niches with perversion and enjoy the delights of exploring the wonderful world of D/s sex_grandmaster-d you can let yourself go and explore why? lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand morsel_n_dw raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d red? lil.red.ridinghood because that's my other job Sensei sex_grandmaster-d Nooooooooooooooo sex_grandmaster-d dw? sindra raises my hand lil.red.ridinghood scratches out the last 4 notes and reorganizes them lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( damn i thought i had it... oh well... ) sex_grandmaster-d sindra? sindra because the other side of your life has been answered to so its time for yourself, and your own self exploration(your own time) morsel_n_dw {enters} sex_grandmaster-d well not what I was looking for but that's good sindra sex_grandmaster-d dw? sex_grandmaster-d I guess not morsel_n_dw isn't sure if my post made it or not morsel_n_dw because it has been accepted and one is happy with part of oneself Master? sex_grandmaster-d good dw sex_grandmaster-d let Me hear it out loud class morsel_n_dw {leaves} sex_grandmaster-d because I know who and what I am and have accepted that morsel_n_dw {enters} sex_grandmaster-d I am good and it is OK?? morsel_n_dw tries again lauraleigh because i know who and what i am and have accepted that lauraleigh giggles lil.red.ridinghood {unwanted language} whispers i am good and it is ok lil.red.ridinghood whispers [0;37m i am good and it is ok lauraleigh i am good and it IS OK sex_grandmaster-d louder red clytemnestra i know who/what i am - i accept that - i love it sex_grandmaster-d there you go clyte lil.red.ridinghood coughs sex_grandmaster-d ok red you say "I will find out who and what I am and accept that it is good and okay" clytemnestra . o O ( still need to be able to experience it, though - the love/desire is frustrated ) lil.red.ridinghood i will find out who and what i am and accept that it is good and ok sex_grandmaster-d lets say it out loud one more time class sex_grandmaster-d I know who and what I am and I accept that lil.red.ridinghood perfects the why must you torture me middleschooler look sex_grandmaster-d I am good and it is OK sex_grandmaster-d now why is it OK? lil.red.ridinghood i will find out who and what i am and accept that it is good and it is ok sex_grandmaster-d good red *S* clytemnestra i accept/love who/what i am - i want...... lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d red? lil.red.ridinghood it is ok, because there is no one perfect mold and as long as i am living in my whole self i am exactly who i am supposed to be morsel_n_dw raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d good red sex_grandmaster-d dw? morsel_n_dw are You talking about the BDSM realm Master? sex_grandmaster-d yes I think so dw LOL morsel_n_dw chuckles and meant specifically with the statement You said for us to make sex_grandmaster-d covers up the Vanilla School sign sex_grandmaster-d No I am talking about the entire you dw morsel_n_dw nods morsel_n_dw i thought so at first Master, then wasn't sure sex_grandmaster-d this is assuming that you are taking steps to correct the things that you find undesirable in your personality morsel_n_dw thinks on how i can word it for me sex_grandmaster-d if necessary you can add I will correct the things I find that I don't like and it will be good morsel_n_dw i will find out whom and what i am and learn to accept that sex_grandmaster-d and correct the bad things I find sex_grandmaster-d now W/who's approval do you need? morsel_n_dw i need mine, Master clytemnestra amends statement to "i accept/love who/what i want to be" sex_grandmaster-d nods lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( is it just me? i have a pretty self-confident shell, i think i already am confident with who i am until Someone suggests something like "tell your lustful desires to yourself in the mirror" then i realize how phenomenally far i have to go ) sex_grandmaster-d you need your new best friends approval and that new best friend is going to be you morsel_n_dw yes Master morsel_n_dw smiles sex_grandmaster-d a brutally truthful friend however *S* morsel_n_dw reminds morsel that i need to write these down as affirmations sex_grandmaster-d No everyone usually feels and thinks that red ...... until morsel_n_dw nods slowly sex_grandmaster-d trust Me this is not an easy process and most people never do it lauraleigh amen lil.red.ridinghood sighs punctuated with a cough morsel_n_dw {unwanted language} without being too hard on myself Master smiles morsel_n_dw without being too hard on myself Master [1;35m smiles lauraleigh raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d lauraleigh? morsel_n_dw listens lauraleigh sweetie sis first thing is do not be so hard on yourself...smiles and hugs you... lauraleigh i think you think ... lauraleigh you have to do this alone.. sex_grandmaster-d Let Me address that concept sex_grandmaster-d smiles lauraleigh at least i thought that for a long time.. morsel_n_dw listens lauraleigh and wow when i found out i didn't.. lauraleigh it was much much easier lady_francesca_d {enters} lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( oh no lauraleigh... i'm very thankful for the network of help i've built over the past couple of months... thinks quietly so Sensei and talk ) lady_francesca_d walks quietly to a chair and settles in. sex_grandmaster-d Not being hard on yourself sex_grandmaster-d nods to Fran morsel_n_dw smiles to my Mistress sex_grandmaster-d define that dw and lauraleigh lauraleigh okies.. morsel_n_dw i mean beating myself over the head with a big stick Master lauraleigh hard on ones self... falling short of the expectations i have made on myself lauraleigh setting my goals too high lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand lauraleigh umm in my case..' sex_grandmaster-d red? morsel_n_dw setting goals i know i can't reach, then thinking i failed Master lil.red.ridinghood it's important to have high goals... the key for me is to not dwell on the times i don't meet them.. .just pick up and try again... learn and MOVE ON! as it were sex_grandmaster-d Alright you seem to have a handle on that concept, because you will be hard on yourself morsel_n_dw listens sex_grandmaster-d but you need to make reasonable goals to meet and you don't beat yourself over the head continuously when you make a mistake sex_grandmaster-d can you tell Me why you don't do that? lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d red? lil.red.ridinghood because a best friend tells you when you messed up, but doesn't hold it against you for the rest of your days Sensei? sex_grandmaster-d that's good red *S* morsel_n_dw . o O ( do You mean why we shouldn't beat ourselves over the head constantly Master? ) sex_grandmaster-d anything else? sex_grandmaster-d yes dw morsel_n_dw raises my hand sex_grandmaster-d dw lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand with a question after dw morsel_n_dw because we shouldn't take it on ourselves to punish us more than our respective Mistress/Master does? lauraleigh hmm sex_grandmaster-d Ummmmmmm not what I'm looking for dw sex_grandmaster-d red? sex_grandmaster-d good point though dw sex_grandmaster-d smiles morsel_n_dw smiles morsel_n_dw thinks sex_grandmaster-d red? sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( I don't think I can answer that long of a question today ) morsel_n_dw raises my hand again lady_francesca_d chuckles lil.red.ridinghood another part of being a best friend is that sometimes they disappear for a while. but when they come back it takes a little work before it's like they never left... is that part of being my own best friend too? (if You don't understand the question don't worry cause i'm not sure i do either) lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( sorry ) sex_grandmaster-d actually red a real best friend coming back is just like they never left at all sex_grandmaster-d that is the kind of best friend that you need to be to yourself sex_grandmaster-d dw? lady_francesca_d nods agreement with SGM sex_grandmaster-d you see there is a difference between a friend and a best friend lil.red.ridinghood nods morsel_n_dw because if we are constantly beating ourselves over the head Master, it makes it hard if not impossible to make any progress? lil.red.ridinghood but sometimes there's an undercurrent of junk that needs to be dealt with and cleared before it can be the way it was before Sensei clytemnestra . o O ( also gives one an almighty headache - apart from anything else ) lady_francesca_d doesn't know if that's what SGM wants ... but it's a good point. sex_grandmaster-d ok that is part of it dw lauraleigh well i know if i am always beating myself up i will never find good lauraleigh and i forgot to raise my hand sorry morsel_n_dw smiles lil.red.ridinghood winks to lauraleigh morsel_n_dw raises my hand again sex_grandmaster-d what happens if you continually ostracize yourself for an error it leads to developing a poor me trip and enables the thinking that you can't do anything right so why try at all lil.red.ridinghood amen's to that one clytemnestra . o O ( knows all about that ) lil.red.ridinghood has seen that downward spiral more than once morsel_n_dw nods lil.red.ridinghood raises her hand sex_grandmaster-d so you take the positive route of being determined that you will do better next time, even lowering the initial goal or breaking it into more than one part if necessary sex_grandmaster-d yes red? lil.red.ridinghood puts her hand down sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( never mind then ) lil.red.ridinghood You said the breaking it down thing Sensei, that's what i wanted to add *s* sex_grandmaster-d nods and smiles lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( it's an old "educator's" trick... ) sex_grandmaster-d alright then are there any questions or comments? lady_francesca_d raises My hand sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( what is? ) sex_grandmaster-d Fran? lil.red.ridinghood . o O ( the breaking a hard task into smaller manageable ones ) lady_francesca_d Setting goals is always a good thing. sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( ahhhhhhh *S* does that mean I am an old educator? ) lil.red.ridinghood listens sex_grandmaster-d ;listens lady_francesca_d Failing at them is not necessarily bad. It is simply a way of telling you there is something you should learn in order not to fail again. morsel_n_dw wouldn't say old, Master lil.red.ridinghood would lil.red.ridinghood adjusts halo sex_grandmaster-d very true Fran and also perhaps a re-examination of the goals sex_grandmaster-d chuckles at red lady_francesca_d nods morsel_n_dw nods as i listen lil.red.ridinghood blushes...sorry i was being soo good up to then... lady_francesca_d But sometimes you set a goal that should be set a while down the road and expect yourself to accomplish it in a few days or weeks. sex_grandmaster-d nods morsel_n_dw . o O ( or instantly ) lady_francesca_d Timing of the relative completion of the goal is also important. sex_grandmaster-d realistic time frame is important as well lil.red.ridinghood astonished look, i would never do such a thing lady_francesca_d Jinx sex_grandmaster-d Jinx Fran lady_francesca_d laughs sex_grandmaster-d Jinx sex_grandmaster-d ok any other comments or questions? morsel_n_dw chuckles and wonders W/who gives W/who the coke this time? lady_francesca_d you and annie, of course sex_grandmaster-d . o O ( all the subs do of course ) sex_grandmaster-d hey it's in class sex_grandmaster-d LOL morsel_n_dw no Master, no more questions or comments lady_francesca_d . o O ( Good thinking, SGM ... a lot more for Our stashes. ) sex_grandmaster-d nods sex_grandmaster-d alright then what is it you are all going to do? lauraleigh i am going to love me sex_grandmaster-d ok that's good *S* morsel_n_dw learn to accept oneself and to love oneself Master clytemnestra accept/love who/what i want to be lil.red.ridinghood i'm going to find out who and what i am and be ok with that, because i am my best friend sex_grandmaster-d what about the mirror? sex_grandmaster-d great red *S* lil.red.ridinghood going to try it on paper first then in the mirror lauraleigh write affirmations lady_francesca_d . o O ( That could work, red. ) sindra look deep for the beauty within morsel_n_dw get really embarrassed while saying our desires/thoughts Master sex_grandmaster-d laughs lauraleigh giggles morsel_n_dw and add to my affirmations Master sex_grandmaster-d yes expose all those dark dirty little perversions that everyone else shares with you and accept them sex_grandmaster-d and most of all accept that it is alright that you can enjoy the hell out those perversions lady_francesca_d smiles lil.red.ridinghood nods and notes sex_grandmaster-d ok if nothing else, class is dismissed